A still from Fisher's new sex tape, above.

Nowadays, all it takes is a pair of Juicy sweats and an abortion clinic to make someone famous. This laissez-faire attitude towards public spectacle, however, hasn't always been so... Paris-ian. Way back when, a struggling girl from Long Island had to earn her infamy. She toiled with homicide, started prostitution rumors about herself, sat through the movie version of her life starring Drew Barrymore, and started writing tell-alls. It must have been so very time consuming. Well, dear readers, give a warm re-welcome to the Fisher queen, Amy, newfound sex-tape entrepeneur. In today's New York Post, a spokesperson for dirty picture outfit Red Light District explains, "Amy's embracing it... and [is] getting offers for centerfolds and magazine spreads." Fisher has even decided to deejay at Retox tonight to promote Amy Fisher Caught on Tape, a cinematic tour de force critics are calling "the Citizen Kane of amateur porn." [Ed. note: No one has ever said that.] —N.H.