What's the deal with vodka sauce? I certainly get the whole tomato-cream-parmesan idea, but I never understood what adding vodka is supposed to do for an already deliciously balanced combo. (Not that Patsy’s in midtown doesn’t pull off a pretty mean sauce.) Vodka trades in subtleties. Why waste it on a saucepan? You could be making a martini with that. A little research reveals that vodka sauce first entered our culinary consciousness in the 1980s. More cause for skepticism. Although the kids today may not know it, that whole decade was fraught with bad style choices and overindulgence. It's no surprise that some Reagan-era genius thought it was a good idea to dump half a bottle of vodka into red sauce. Have another line, chef. I've got a recipe and a bottle of Grey Goose and a quest to illuminate a waste of good hooch. I'll make two batches and we'll have ourselves a little taste test.

First, a pot of simple red sauce:

Tomato Sauce ● 2 tbl extra virgin olive oil ● 1 medium onion, diced ● 2 cloves garlic, crushed ● 2 bay leaves ● 1 fresh basil leaf or 1/2 tsp dried basil ● 1 tsp dried oregano ● 1 28oz can whole plum tomatoes ● 1 28oz can diced or crushed tomatoes ● Freshly ground salt and pepper, to taste

Vodka Sauce To make the tomato sauce into vodka sauce, stir these ingredients in at the end: ● 1/2 cup vodka (or less), optional ● 1/3 cup heavy cream ● 1/4 cup freshly grated Parmesan-Reggiano ● 1/2 cup roughly chopped prosciutto

Heat the oil in a large heavy saucepan (cast iron is best). Add the onions and garlic and cook a couple of minutes until the onions start to look translucent. Add the can of crushed tomatoes and then the whole tomatoes with their juice, crushing each whole tomato through your fingers. Add the oregano, basil, bay, salt, and pepper. Stir well, then bring to a gentle boil. When the sauce starts to bubble, reduce heat immediately and simmer for at least one hour, stirring occasionally. Yields about 5 cups.

I've never added vodka to my vodka sauce before so I'm not sure when it goes in. Giada de Laurentiis's recipe puts it in before the cream and lets it cook off for 20 minutes or so. She also calls for a cup of vodka to a quart of sauce. Damn, girl. I divided my sauce and added about half a cup of vodka to one batch, then set it to simmer on low heat. I tasted it because I'm curious, and at this point the sauce tasted exactly like Bloody Mary marinara. I let it cook down and then stirred the cream and Parmesan-Reggiano into each batch and let it cook down a little more. The final touch: stirring in 1/2 cup of prosciutto. When I taste each batch of sauce, I can barely tell which one is which. The only difference I can discern is that the sauce with the vodka tastes a shade sweeter, a result that could easily be achieved with a teaspoon of sugar. The vodka-free version tastes better: the nutty saltiness of the cheese doesn’t have to compete with the sweet aftermath of the vodka. So score one for the virgins, and save your vodka for cocktails.