Monday nights used to be a football-only affair in my house, but a recently acquired TV addiction -- House -- has parked our channel-surfing habits squarely at this other gruesome show. Whereas the NFL makes great background for dinner (especially if that meal includes nachos), House’s scenes of surgeries, hemorrhaging, and intubations flatline my appetite. To appease a slightly macabre sense of humor (and my love of a tasty toddy), I’m planning a House-themed Bloody Mary night. Not for the squeamish, the hour-long fête will include the night’s episode of our favorite sarcastic MD, boozy beverages, and, of course, a drinking game.

Brunch imbibers have strident opinions on what makes a good Bloody Mary, and bars serve an innovative array. Some like their hangover helpers extra-peppery; others eschew olives. To satisfy a crowd, set up a build-your-own Bloody Mary bar. Stock a counter with tomato juice, vodka, celery stalks, Tabasco, Worcestershire sauce, olives, and extras like garlic, jalapeños, horseradish, and pickled onions. Personally, I like mine spicy (a dash of the juice in a pepperoncini jar does the trick). For the less inventive, provide a recipe (say: 1½ ounces vodka, ½ cup tomato juice, 2 teaspoons fresh lemon juice, a dash of Worcestershire sauce and Tabasco, salt and pepper to taste, served over ice and garnished with a celery stalk). Once everyone has a DIY drink, gather them around the boob tube and explain the rules. Feel free to modify; after all, House airs on Monday nights, and most of us work Tuesday mornings. Or wait until the episode comes out on Hulu and make a weekend night out of the affair. (The game also makes a terrific restorative activity for the morning after a night out.) Once everyone has a drink in hand, it’s time to settle in around Fox’s most gruesome primetime hit. My suggested rules are to drink whenever: ● House proposes an invasive treatment for an untestable malady. ● A patient bleeds out of an unusual orifice (double if he cries blood). ● Any of the doctors makes a move that could get their medical license revoked. ● Any of the doctors breaks and enters someone’s apartment or office. ● A doctor quits or is fired. ● Wilson lies to cover for House. ● Anyone airs a harassment lawsuit-worthy comment.

Sipping a blood look-alike during a hospital show may be morbid, and playing a drinking game to trauma is probably inappropriate, but a show that celebrates an acerbic and often offensive title character calls for some tongue-in-cheek (and booze-in-mouth) fun.

[Photo]