I already knew Miley Cyrus and I had a lot in common: a love of hot pants, pole dancing. But not until her recent oh-no-she-didn’t interview with Ohio radio station Q92 did I realize we were sisters from another mister. Smiley hates Twilight, too! Our reasoning is a tad divergent. Cyrus says she doesn’t “believe in [Twilight]. I don’t like vampires ... I don’t want anything to do with it. I don’t like the shirts, any of it.” Perhaps church-girl Miley is aware God hates fangs, but, really, jealous, much? I, on the other hand, am fine with vampires. Bill Compton can suck my blood any time. If True Blood’s Bon Temps, Louisiana, actually existed, I would be at Fangtasia like every night. Yet even the hair gel-loving vamps on the CW’s Vampire Diaries are about forty shades darker and more complex than Twi’s limp fish Edward Cullen. Who we know is a ruthless bloodsucker because his skin glitters in the sun. Come on. Inside me is still an awesome 13-year-old girl, and she is insulted.

Which doesn’t mean I won’t be seeing New Moon. Thanksgiving equals multiple days and nights with the family -- it’s gonna happen. I fell asleep midway through the first film and this one promises to be longer, but I have a plan. For my pre-Bella drinking, I’ve found the perfect cocktail to soften the edges of Kristen Stewart’s lower lip massacre. The vintage Blue Moon is actually a lovely shade of lavender thanks to crème de violette, an update on crème Yvette, which like crinolines and smoking while pregnant was super popular in the 50s. Because the only way to see the new Twilight is while mid-century tore up.

Blue Moon Cocktail 2 oz dry gin 1/2 oz fresh lemon juice 1/2 oz crème de violette

Add gin, lemon juice, and crème de violette to a mixing glass two-thirds full of ice. Shake briskly. Strain into a martini glass.

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