Kristen Stewart would like you to know that she has not procreated with noted Newyorkophobe Robert Pattinson. So just stop scooping coals onto those fires, you nasty muckrakers. This should be especially good news to the legions of crazies whose eyes remain locked onto Pattinson's sturdy frame, studying his graceful gait, his effortless sort-of updo, and that dreamy, never-quite-there listless gaze that you never know what to ... wait, where was I? Oh yes, Kristen Stewart! Babymaking! False! Stewart is so incensed, she wants someone's head on a platter. Quite possibly her publicist's.

As we can glean from a series of tweets between Stewart and someone who calls herself "TashaBootie", the actress was surprised to learn that she was harboring her Twilight co-star's love child. Because she wasn't. Tweets she so eloquently about the person who planted the weed of a rumor, "Yes. who ever started it is pathetic n doesnt have a freaking life." But then she goes onto point a finger at her publicist. So there really is nothing more to the story. Well, besides Stewart's budding drug problem, but who doesn't need some xanax after battling unfounded pregnancy rumors? Move along. There's nothing more to see here -- apart from Stewart's continual assault on the English language by way of microblogging.