It’s the classic scenario that you always hear about but hope never happens to you. You have an unorthodox, creative job that makes it hard to afford real health insurance -- or if you do have health insurance and get into a serious accident, you might be in just as big of a pinch. That’s the scenario that Laura Masura finds herself in. Luckily, she’s got big friends in high places, namely Billy Corgan and the Smashing Pumpkins. Corgan and his other band, The Backwards Clock Society, are headlining a benefit show on Sunday for Masura at Echoplex. (The band also includes Kerry Brown of Ancient Chinese Secrets and Mark Tulin of the Electric Prunes.) Additional performers include The Happy Stars (Brian Young from Fountains of Wayne), The Pulsars, Tim Rutili (Red Red Meat, Califone), Pity Party and Light FM. If you're a Pumpkins obsessive, a couple of goodies are being auctioned off, including Jimmy Chamberlin’s autographed drum kit used in Gish, and one of Corgan’s bass guitars. But how does one get Billy Corgan to play one's benefit show?

When I was a mere clubbing pup at the age of 19, I was living in Seattle and going out to my first nightclubs. Among them was the Weathered Wall, a very early 90s bordello-styled venue that had been around for a while in various formations but was made more exciting by a simple twist: instead of entering through the front door like you were meant to, you went through the back alley, which gave the party a feeling of danger and uncertainty. What were we doing in this seedy back alley? What sort of world was awaiting us inside? 
I found out later, after I moved to New York, that my friends who threw that party, called Lemon Twist, had ripped off this time-honored trick from New York City promoters. It’s an easy way to enliven a space that otherwise might seem like any old bar. It’s something the people behind the Doheny, one of several downtown “private” speakeasy-type bars have figured out. When we went to see KCRW DJ Dan Wilcox during one of his bi-weekly gigs, the only way we were alerted to the presence of the bar was a simple street sign: a key pointing in one direction that said “Private.”

Donovan Leitch is the master of themed music nights. First we had a John Hughes tribute; now, there’s the Soft Club. How soft, you ask? There’s a cuddly muppet on one of the flyers, and an old People magazine cover with Tatum O’Neal and Kristy McNichol. That’s how soft. The concept for the bi-weekly party‚ thrown with Frankie Inglese at the Palihouse, is 70s easy listening. Think John Denver, Sonny Bono, and Captain & Tennille. (Dare we dream about Air Supply? We do.) The party actually has old roots, going back to 1997 at NYC’s Moomba club, when Leitch paired up with Russell Steinberg (nee Johnny Favyva) for a similar party. Not strictly relegated to the 70s, the theme is simple: “Long ago and so far away.”

Funny thing about living in Los Angeles instead of a more urban city like Seattle or New York: People live in actual houses, not brownstones, or tenements, or apartments squished on top of each other. It's basically, as Dorothy Parker said, "72 suburbs in search of a city." This means that Halloween feels more like the holiday of your youth. Kids trick or treat on the street, not within your apartment building halls (I always felt so sad for the New York kids who were robbed of that fun experience). The other thing that's different about L.A. during Halloween? The haunted houses. Sure, there's the average amateur spook shop, with bad special effects and bad lighting, mostly aimed at giving little kids a cheap thrill. But we've got Hollywood here, and the many thousands of people who are employed by Hollywood, who work behind the scenes in the movie industry and who can create haunted houses that are far more advanced and eerie than anything you're likely to see elsewhere.

One of the best events this weekend is hosted by everyone's favorite community radio station, KCRW. Masquerade is a full-out costume ball and dance party at the Park Plaza downtown, with a headliner that will make your head spin: DJ Shadow (whoa! that's a name we haven't heard in a loooong time). In addition to the mixmaster, you've got Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros, Sweden’s Little Dragon, and LA’s own Sea Wolf. If you're getting hungry for something that's not vampire blood, there's gonna be a food truck orgy -- Kogi, Border Grill, Coolhaus, and Sprinklesmobile! A lot of the KCRW jocks will be on hand, including Raul Ghoul Campos, Anne Elvira Litt, Dan Blood Sucker Wilcox, and music director Jason Nosferatu Bentley (cute Halloweeny names, guys). We talked to Jason Nosferatu Bentley about his upcoming one-year anniversary as the head of the station, as well all things L.A. Have you ever heard of Castle Heights Road? Us, neither.

It’s Halloween week and we’ve scared up a few (okay, a lot) parties for you to go. There’s a wide range of events -- from the intimate to the out-of-control -- so you can decide if you’re feeling like having a grown-up Halloween weekend or a can’t-let-go-of your adolescence Halloween weekend. And since this is the first year that Michael Jackson is not with us, it’s only appropriate that there be an all-out Thriller-themed event. Casey Connors spins the party, held at the Dakota Live Music Lounge, which will have several costume contests, including Best MJ, Scariest, and Most Original, plus an MJ Dance contest. And what would a Thriller party be without a Best Zombie category? Saturday at 9.

Many Los Angeles nightlife events would barely register a blip in New York. It's lightweight central, managing to seem both unsophisticated and jaded big city at the same time. "Big" events happen here, but there isn't this fever and desperation that exists at the best of New York parties -- this feeling that if you don't get inside, you are missing something Very Important and possibly Historic. L.A. is, like, whatever. We headed to the Hello Kitty 35th Anniversary "Three Apples" opening at Royal-T last night in Culver City, expecting another such event: a little pop up party, a fair amount of people, a red carpet with a Kardashian sister and some reality stars we'd never heard of, a relaxed crowd milling around inside, chillin' out, dude. What we got (see full gallery) was a mob scene. A throng.

Los Angeles' "Fashion Week" continues, with pop-up stores and after-parties galore. Tomorrow, we'll be hitting up a Hello Kitty event at Royal T, which is actually our idea of high fashion because we haven't grown up much since second grade. (That's invite-only, sorry, pals. We'll tell you all about it.) But tonight is open to everyone at 6613 Sunset Boulevard. Sponsored by Delicious Vinyl, "Fashion Funktion," is two-pronged: see the fashions and actually buy stuff from 2-8pm. Stick around after that, and you'll get a half-dozen DJs spinning in the new space, dubbed "Freak City."

You may not have known this, but there's a huge number of Brits in Los Angeles. Apparently, the first chance they get, they flee the overcast and rainy climes of their home country for the most opposite climate they can find. Since Australia is usually ruled out, they end up here. Such was the case with Englishman Brendan Collins. The chef at the Palihouse Holloway, he's been curing his homesickness by cooking himself a Brit Sunday Roast every week from 11am to 4pm in the Hall, the hotel's outdoor dining area.

You might think the words "Los Angeles" and "Fashion Week" don't go together, and you might even be right. You might also think that "Los Angeles Fashion Week" is really code for "Ed Hardy." But apparently Los Angeles is angling so hard for a part in the fashion world that the city is essentially opening up its showrooms and runways for the whole month of October. This week it really started in earnest, with Downtown LA Fashion Week on Tuesday, featuring emerging designers and others such as Julia Y Renata and Michel Berandi.