With her new album Jigsaw about to drop, pint-size English rapper Lady Sovereign, still “the biggest midget in the game,” braves a tall order of libations. New York’s Pianos is the site of the MC’s tangle with a booze medley designed to appease her surprisingly finicky palate.

Rum Jumbie Coconut Splash BLACKBOOK: Let’s start with a splash of rum. How does this go down? LADY SOVEREIGN: This is really nice, sweet liquor. I haven’t been to the Caribbean, so I can’t say that it reminds me of being there. BB: How old were you when you had your first drink? LS: Probably 13. I was 14 the first time I got drunk on this really cheap, sparkling wine. It was a teenager’s best bet for getting drunk. I miss those park-drinking days.

Appleton Estate Reserve Rum BB: I think it’s time to do some shots. Are you a shot kind of girl? LS: I’m not. BB: Well, you’re about to be. LS: Oh, that’s foul. Tastes like foot. It burns! BB: If you hold your nose, it will help. LS: That really burns! See, if I were already drunk, I would do shots. But right now, I’d gag on it.

Ty Ku Sake BB: Sake… you said you don’t like? LS: No, I hate it. BB: Well, this one comes in a shampoo bottle. LS: I just didn’t like it when I first tried it. It’s like vodka, and I don’t like drinking neat vodka. BB: Just sip it in a shot glass. And, by the way, the order of this is meant to ensure that you’re not going to get too drunk. LS: It smells like vinegar. BB: Like apple cider vinegar? LS: It tastes like vinegar, mixed with shit and lemon.

Gran Centenario Rosangel Tequila BB: This is hibiscus-infused, 100% agave tequila. LS: Are you out to make me look like some sort of alcoholic? BB: Of course not. But this is the club banger, right here. LS: I hate tequila. I don’t like much, do I? BB: Tell me about the last time you were drinking and you had something enjoyable. LS: Well, I got banned from two pubs in one night.

Combier Liqueur D’orange LS: This burns, too! BB: What alcohol doesn’t burn? It burns in such a good way, no? LS: God, if the cops walked in right now, they would be looking at my ID straight away. They’d be like, “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” BB: You would definitely get carded. How old are you? LS: 24. BB: You’re going to be carded until you’re 40. LS: I even get carded for rolling papers. It’s ridiculous.

Rum Jumbie Liqueur (and then some… ) BB: I’m going to make you a Long Island Iced Tea with this, and you’re going to tell me what you think. It’s got gin, vodka, rum and lemonade. Seventeen-year-old girls from Long Island drink these. LS: Are you sure that’s lemonade? It looks a bit cloudy. BB: Do you want to cleanse your palate with a glass of water before you taste this? LS: That is not water! BB: Okay, so here’s the Long Island Iced Tea. It’s part hibiscus-infused tequila, a splash of coconut rum, a little Appleton Estate Reserve Rum—the taste of the islands… LS: You shouldn’t be making mixed drinks. It’s a big, bad thing. BB: It’s all booze though, it’s not like we’re mixing it with beer. Don’t worry. Here’s a dash of a 25-year-old Glenlivet and a hint of that orange liqueur. LS: Are you trying to kill me? You are evil. It looks like piss. BB: How does it taste? LS: Horrible. BB: Like getting punched in the neck? LS: It’s worse than swallowing your own vomit. Wait—it tastes better through a straw. BB: That’s because you can get to all the deliciousness that’s on the bottom. You hated all of them individually, but collectively… LS: Mixed together, it’s so good! Two thumbs up.