While it's not entirely unlikely that Lindsay Lohan trolls Internet message boards to stay current on the appraisals of her celebrity, here's a harrowing development that might save her hours harassing detractors under the alias "meangirl86" by pointing to one of the larger problems in her career. Barbie-peddlers Mattel manufactured a line of Lindsay Lohan dolls that replicate everything we adore about the troubled starlet, from the faux fur coat to the non-biodegradable plastic personality. But the dolls have been marked down to a measly $5 from an initial retail price of $25.

Without a matching Sam Ronson action figure -- made by the same folks who give us G.I. Joe figures, preferably -- to act out the Shakespearean drama of their relationship, such a markdown is nothing more than a tease. Until then, pop culture junkies may enjoy these Sarah Palin and Joe Six-Pack dolls instead.