What’s a woman who wants to play football to do? Sit on the couch and cheer alongside the rest of couch potato nation? Join a touch football league? Suit up as a cheerleader? What if she could play some honest to God, full contact football, on television, in front of a crowd, for money—so long as she was willing to do so in her underwear? Well, if that’s the case, she just might play for the Lingerie Football League.

The LFL is an indoor league composed of 10 all-female teams who play full contact football, 7-on-7, clad in shoulder pads, helmets and bootie shorts. Inspired by the success of the Lingerie Bowl-- a pay-per-view special that began airing during Super Bowl halftime in 2004 and typically attracts millions of viewers-- a league with a 20-week season started this year, owned by Mitch Mortaza, a self-professed Hugh Hefner-wannabe and one time Blind Date contestant, who looks like he's never met a tanning bed he didn’t like. This past Sunday, the L.A. Temptation defeated the Chicago Bliss in Lingerie Bowl VII, and got to divvy up a $100,000 grand prize.

The players, largely serious athletes who moonlight as fitness models, execute plays that contain words like “unicorn” and “rainbow,” code for blocking and curling, in front of voyeuristic men who watch the players scramble for a first down while hoping for a wardrobe malfunction. On the field, there is trash talking, punch throwing, competitive fire and injuries-- but off the field, the fans care more about exposed body parts than good blocking. An LFL game is an athletic event and also an occasion to spot a nip slip-- and the players and spectators disagree about which takes priority.

“I get the remarks. Girls in lingerie playing football, yeah, right, whatever,” says the Miami Caliente’s head coach Bob Hewko, a blue-eyed giant, who limps a little, having been a quarterback with the Florida Gators himself. “To that I say, how is what we do any different than the volleyball players in the Olympics? They are wearing basically the same thing as my girls.”

“You get used to it. It’s just a uniform,” says redheaded Meg Miller, one of Hewko’s “girls” and the Caliente’s running back. “We all work hard on our bodies, and we take pride in that. But when you play, you kinda forget that you are in underwear.”

The players may forget about it, but the underwear is the basis of the league’s appeal. The LFL enjoys a devout following willing to drop dough for a calendar or a photo op with their favorite player. “The difference between the type of football available to these players is in the fan base,” says Jeff King, the President of the Women’s Football Alliance. “I’m OK with women playing in their underwear, but what sets the serious game apart from a show is who is watching.” In other words, while the women may be fighting it out on the field, the liquored-up crowd it too busy starting at their derrières to notice the score.

And yet, the women practice hard three times a week, even though each team plays only four games per season. Players boast stories of twisted ankles, knee injuries and turf burns. (“What about silicone leakage, coach Bob?” we asked with genuine concern for some of the player's more enhanced assets. “None reported,” he answered seriously. Just in case, Dr. Matt Huebner, M.D, one of the three team doctors, is always on hand to tend to injuries. It’s a tough job, but there is always a volunteer, or seven, willing to do it.) So what if during practice most players looked like they stopped by the MAC cosmetic counter? All the sparkle, lip-gloss and fake eyelashes can’t obscure the fact that no one throws like a girl and everyone wants to win. “This ain’t the Powder Puff League,” coach Bob exclaims.

Tricia van der Slik's mom is hoping for the trophy with minimum injuries.

“It’s sad, but this is one of very few opportunities girls get,” said Connie van der Slik, mom to Chicago Bliss’ wide receiver Tricia. “These girls are super athletic, and to play hard, unfortunately sometimes they have to navigate these type of situations.”

Such situations include, in this case, requests for nudity. “I will not do nude type of promotion,” says the sweet yet defiant Taira Turley, Caliente’s linebacker. “I’m a make up artist, so maybe I’ll do the girls’ faces for the shoot.”

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