● Helping Haiti has officially gone off the rails: Adam Lambert auctions off pair of his “sweaty” undies for charity. [AceShowBiz] ● Bill Gates was photographed dancing at Sundance this week: Now watch the remix while Apple pwns him. [Buzzfeed] ● Baudelaire, Poe, Kerouac, Faulkner, Rand and other famous literary drug addicts. [Life] ● Elizabeth Edwards finally leaves John Edwards. [Perez]

● In a strange twist, it’s the New York Times that provides a list of the 15 things to watch if you don’t want to watch the State of The Union. [NY Times] ● Anderson Cooper will move into an old Greenwich Village firehouse, complete with brass poles. There’s a joke in there. [NY Post] ● Things you can’t do coked up, according to a new single serving tumblr, include going on roller coasters, attending group therapy and getting vaccinated. Seems like you could actually do all of those things. [Things You Can’t Do]