● Though the rumored Mel Gibson cameo fell through, The Hangover 2 will feature an appearance by Bill Clinton, who requires a blow job joke for every 30 seconds he's on screen. [People] ● Lindsay Lohan was awarded a day pass for good behavior and went home from rehab without a chaperone. No accidents were reported in the area. [TMZ] ● The supposed rivalry between Robert Pattinson and Daniel Radcliffe is more fiction than fact -- fan fiction, more specifically -- but Radcliffe does admit that both men are exceptionally pale. [People]

● Just two weeks after her ex-husband Nick Lachey announced his engagement, Jessica Simpson says she's marrying ex-NFL player Eric Johnson. Anything you can do, I can do after. [Us Weekly] ● Mel Gibson turned four guns plus accessories into the LAPD after Oksana Grigorieva accused him of domestic violence. Or as he prefers to call them, Lethal Weapon 1-4. [TMZ] ● Two of John and Kate Gosselin's sextuplets were expelled from a Pennsylvania private school, resulting in the biggest parenting sad face in this week's tabloids. [HuffPo]