● Heartbroken again by that Alaskan lothario Levi, Bristol Palin will appear on the latest season of Dancing With the Stars, because reality television does not have enough Palin. Watch her win, too. [E! Online] ● Chris Brown is doing a "great job" with his probation, a judge told him. He hasn't even hit another woman. Four more years, big guy! [Celebuzz] ● Heidi Montag wears a piece on tape on her nose so it doesn't "fall of like Michael Jackson." [HuffPo]

● When the Huffington Post speculated about whether John Mayer was back with Jennifer Aniston, based shakily on "cobbled together" banter from his concert, he took to his Tumblr in retort: "You’re a stripper wearing reading glasses." [one forty plus] ● The businesswoman who set Britney Spears on the straight and narrow (still has hair!) has a new project in the form of the recently released Lindsay Lohan. On to the next one. [Page Six] ● Will Forte quit Saturday Night Live, possibly in search of his own The Ladies Man. [NYT]