● It's possible that Paris Hilton has "cat like reflexes" and is a "pro" at hiding drugs in an orifice that isn't, to put it politely, her belly-button or ear canal. Ahem. [Ian Undercover] ● There is a musical based on 9/11 coming soon. If you don't go see it, the terrorists win, but if you saw the Nic Cage movie, then the terrorists have probably had this one in the bag for a while. [Vulture] ● Seeing Julia Roberts wear a bikini is barely less weird than catching Mother Theresa in bondage gear. [PopEater]

● Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus sang a duet on stage at Madison Square Garden, while David Bowie and Tina Turner wept into their goblets of prune juice. [Celebuzz] ● Michael Douglas stopped by Late Show with David Letterman to discuss his throat cancer and treatment, but Douglas insisted he has an 80% chance at recovery, lest he leave Letterman alone as the presiding member of the Dirty Old Man Club. [HuffPo] ● A Bulgarian man hopes a sex chance will complete his transformation into Lady Gaga, who is not, in fact, Bulgarian. [Radar Online]