What's the deal with this classy, rich, old John Gage fellow who pays high-profile women to attend the Vienna Opera Ball with him each year? His name is Richard Lugner, and he's an eccentric, 77-year-old businessman who, according to our bastions of truth over at Wikipedia, say he once "specialised [sic] in the erection of filling stations." (Well, that sounds about right.) Each year, Lugner invites a Hollywood starlet to accompany him to the Austrian society event. He's invited some of the greats, including Joan Collins, Sophia Loren, Grace Jones, Sarah, Duchess of York, Raquel Welch, Faye Dunaway, Jacqueline Bisset, and Farrah Fawcett. Although, more recently, he's chosen less, er, distinguished guests, such as Pamela Anderson (who brought Kid Rock), Geri Halliwell, Carmen Electra, Paris Hilton, and, come next month, Herbie: Fully Loaded thespian Lindsay Lohan.

('’)No word on how much he pays his guests, although their duties include not only attending the Wiener Opernball, but also signing autographs at Lugner City, the shopping mall he opened in 1990. Lugner -- who was divorced from his third wife Christina in 2007, the same year he courted that Hilton girl (which, you know, also sounds about right) -- has attracted criticism for his annual publicity stunt, but he doesn't seem phased. Obsessed with appearance, Lugner once injected Botulin into his eyelids to look like George Clooney. Dude, that's totally unnecessary . You are George Clooney.

Here's a video for all our German-speaking readers. For the rest of you, it's still pretty funny watching that drunk girl slap her chest and presumably ream Lugner out in front of his friends.