That sneaky Chris Brown! Using improper grammar to trick everyone into thinking that he is a not-monster. And also leaking an unsavory YouTube announcement, which, despite his decry of not-monsterhood, isn't so convincing. Not even after he follows, "I ain't a monster," with a peace sign. But guys, he's holding up a peace sign! Homeboy means no harm.

Okay, enough with the jokes. Especially after he stood passively while his bodyguards man-handled a sniveling paparazzo. But because his handlers may need a refresher as to reasons as to why C.Bro is not fit to stroll through public consciousness, here's a brief breakdown of how his casual YouTube clip not only fails, but burns, and if anything, inspires vitriol anew!

0:03 Perfunctory greeting. Also, he claims he is extraordinarily busy.

0:11 - 0:24 Hawking the new album. It's called Graffiti, y'all. "It's got everything on it, you know what I'm sayin'?" Including an apology? Or that duet with Rihanna?

0:25 "Everybody's that's haters ... they've just been haters." Yes. Except for that time when they all used their purchasing power to make you double-platinum. But, details!

0:28 Brown insists upon not-monsterhood. Still, no hint of remorse.

0:31 Brown's only BFF in the entire universe stumbles on-camera and mumbles some gibberish.

0:37 The end!

Verdict: A third of this arrogant, banal exercise in public relations is spent hawking an album that will hopefully see a chart placing no higher than #352. But, man. That Chris Brown is one classy act. Or perhaps his flacks are unable to wrench that mini-DV cam away from Brown's punch-happy hands. Either way, he never really turned in a proper mea culpa, did he? Or even exhibited the slightest sign of remorse. Considering the two-star rating that accompanies this clip, it's clear that most of us (bar his BFF who probably logged in under various aliases to cast five-star votes for the video) are really willing to give Brown another chance yet. So C.Bro, if you're unwilling to borrow someone like Madonna's dragon-flack to manage your flailing rep, at least take from her this single word and issue it to your ex already.