Were you aware that yesterday was National Coming Out Day? Why, it was a grand ol' party in the US-gay! Perhaps you were aware, and unlike me, bothered to rinse your avocado face mask, peel cucumber slices from your eyes, and take out your curlers. Maybe you went onto attend this sold-out Sapphic beauty pageant or a concert uptown featuring a small Australian woman singing songs into a microphone. Maybe you chose to celebrate by drowning out the window-rattling reggaeton of thoughtless downstairs neighbors by having a dance party-for-one to the tune of the Saturdays' newest not-terrible record. Or maybe you made like a good gay, unburdened by the blatant futility of wanting to make a statement on gay rights when the President already has, and you actually Chinatown-bussed it down to D.C. for the National Equality March. In which case, I'm sorry. That's $34 and a chunk of your weekend that I cannot help you get back. But hey, at least Lady Gaga was there!

In fact, Gaga seems to be pushing all the right buttons lately, making these past-due crones look more and more anachronistic. Just last week, Gaga made stodgy punk rock fans endear to her. This weekend, she boldly betted her hard-earned celebrity for gay rights by not only playing at the HRC dinner, but offering a few words as a framework for the events of the past weekend. Her delivery of John Lennon's "Imagine" at the HRC dinner may have been mawkish, but it tugged at all the right heart-strings. It was delightfully generic, which for Gaga, is a welcome anomaly.

And apart from the Diane Keaton glasses and the Tori Spelling ringlets, Gaga's ivory-tickling magic did make the march in D.C. glow that much more brightly. And then, as is customary with these gay marches, serious intentions devolved into a flurry of missed connections on Craigslist.

Still, at least an estimated 200,000 men and women showed up to rally. For comparison's sake, this is at least 32,000 more people than who legitimately purchased the newest Mariah Carey record.