I'm certain that when MJ croaked, one paramount concern was the fate of his frizzy, flat-ironed tresses. Could LaToya Jackson knit together a sweater for her bevy of newly fatherless nephews and niece? As if! When a pop star estimated at billions and billions of pounds sterling kicks the bucket, we must treat him like our Native American ancestors treated the wild buffalo they caught, tore apart -- from whose hides they pitched tents and from whose bones they fashioned combs. This is all to say that no part of this deceased pop star should be spared carnivorous extraction. I mean, why start now? So what to do with his hair? Diamonds!

In what appears to play out like a Tim Burton-esque take on Rumpelstiltskin, when Jackson lost his hair back in 1984 in an accident involving a premature pyrotechnic explosion while shooting the video for "Thriller", the strands were scooped up by an exec producer form the set of the video. Creepy. And then sold off to celebrity hair fetishist John Reznikoff. Who has apparently been holding onto the hair for the last 25 years. Creepier!

Reznikoff has now teamed up with LifeGem, a company that manufactures a "certified, high-quality diamond created from the carbon of your loved one as a memorial to their unique life, or as a symbol of your personal and precious bond with another." The company's founder adds, "We specialize in creating diamonds from locks of hair. Our plan is to give people an opportunity to own a diamond made from Michael Jackson's DNA. We are currently evaluating Jackson's hair sample to determine how many diamonds can be created. This will be a limited collection and we anticipate great interest." No kidding!