A sick and twisted turn of fate finds me on the Megabus at this very moment en route to Baltimore. It’s worse than your first screenplay on this thing. And like that script, with its trite overlapping character plots and po-mo self-reflexivity, it seemed like a good idea at the time, but couldn’t be further from it. I just dripped chicken salad on my Shift Key and This Is Why Your Fat co-author Jessica Amason is somewhere busy wearing glasses downstairs on the first decker of this sad monstrosity fit only to steward Century 21st shopping bags to Albany. An ardent supporter of women’s rights and safety (not kidding here) the seething rage bubbling from within at this moment is typically reserved for rapists and cowardly, insecure domestic abusers. Which brings me to ACTUAL REAL-LIFE RAPIST OF A THIRTEEN YEAR OLD GIRL, Roman Polanski.

RAPIST OF A THIRTEEN YEAR OLD GIRL Roman Polanski was granted a $4.5 million bail today ostensibly freeing him from his current occupancy in a Swiss jail to move back to his Alpine chalet. According to the AP, Ministry Spokesman Folco Galli said “the final decision on transferring [RAPIST OF A THIRTEEN YEAR OLD GIRL] Polanski to his chalet in the Swiss resort of Gstaad would be made "quickly." Well thank god for that, switheads. RAPIST OF A THIRTEEN YEAR OLD GIRL Roman Polanski’s $1.6 million chalet resides in one of the most exclusive winter resorts in the world and the court happened to “look favorably on [RAPIST OF A THIRTEEN YEAR OLD GIRL] Polanski’s offer of a bank guarantee and the threat of sacrificing his family's home if he fled justice.” Up is down, black is white, but not really. Hot snow doesn’t fall up. That is unless it’s money. Former Zurich prosecutor fanned the flames of my rage by his sobering commentary that “cash is king.” My lower back is sweating something precious at this moment. I HATE THIS FUCKING BUS. So, yes, it would appear that the director of such films as WHO CARES HE RAPED A THIRTEEN YEAR OLD GIRL SO BE A MAN AND LEAVE HIM ROTTING IN JAIL FOR THE REST OF HIS MISERABLE ACADEMY-AWARD WINNING LIFE.