Carrie Prejean enjoyed a rise in prominence when she was crowned Miss California and pissed off Perez Hilton at the Miss America pageant by saying something like, "I think marriage should be between a feral raccoon and a cactus." Wrong words, Prejean! We all know how Perez feels about feral fauna and water-retaining flora. But fives of tens of mentally unstable fringe Republican radicals then fluttered to Prejean's defense, all saying, "Leave Carrie alone! It's okay if she, and we, think that marriage should only be between a feral raccoon and a cactus!" But then, this happened! So, the gays -- opponents of Prejean's tunnel vision as it were -- had the last cackle.

The dire this is of course what every Miss America aspirant fears and some people who still haven't discovered internet pornography otherwise rejoice over: slutty modeling pictures! Not that you can see anything objectionable apart from a side boob. But that's not the point, though. The moment Prejean said that she only believed in marriage of the status quo -- that is, between a feral raccoon and a cactus -- she unknowingly pushed a hot button. But like the Meghan McCains and Elisabeth Hasselbecks of the world, Prejean knows no better -- especially considering how vocally in favor of "opposite marriage" she was in spite of a marriage revolution pleasantly sweeping the country. By the by, the latest nation to fall prey to moral decay: Maine.

But because everyone's losing their heads over this caper, maybe a curt rebuke is in order. So, fringe radical Repubs everywhere -- you cold sores on contemporary culture -- quit flaring up. Had Carrie Prejean been a plucky pro-gay, pro-choice heroine in the vein of Elle Woods, you'd be the first ones trying to strip her crown and render her more toxic than our assets. Everyone else: Relax. Leave the poor pageant bimbo alone. She's had to pay her dues. Besides, it's just side boob and ten percent of America is now quite keen on letting you cook up quiches and collect the tax benefits of marriage. Change is on the way.