The New York Times listed "The 31 Places to Go in 2010" in its Travel Section over the weekend, selecting locations ranging from Patagonia Wine Country (South America! Vino tasting!) to Antarctica (after 2010, it could become even harder to go there!) to Las Vegas (there are new hotels, and they want your money!). Of course, given the "current economic climate," not all of us are flush with cash to finance Antarctic adventures or even Vegas binges. Fear not dear reader, we've come up with a list just for you: Ten places not to go in 2010. You'll never feel bad about having to skip 'em.

1. Oymyakon, Russia This Siberian village, reached by driving along roads lined with grim remains of gulags, holds the record as the coldest town on earth. Birds are said to freeze to death in mid flight. For schools to close, temps have to drop to -62 degrees Fahrenheit. And, unlike chilly Antarctica, there was no Werner Herzog doc filmed here to lend hipster cachet. Also, the man above lives there.

2. Paula Deen Cruise to the Caribbean The downside of travel is putting on a few pounds while enjoying a country's native cuisine. The downside of cruise ships is putting on more than a few pounds while being confined to a buffet-laden vessel lacking native cuisine. And then...you throw that lovable, butter-and-cream-loving Food Network personality known as Paul Deen into the mix. Sure, the barbecue Paula is hosting aboard the ship will be tasty, but, by the end of the week, all that home cooking and butter-talk will have you locking yourself in your cabin, too ashamed to waddle around the lido deck in your bikini.

3. Pakistan Garnering the U.S. State Department's first Travel Warning for 2010, Pakistan, like its neighbors Afghanistan and Iran, which already have travel warnings of their own, is a pass for all but the most intrepid travelers. Violent extremists, Al-Qaida, and Taliban elements do not a vacation make. But, you probably knew that already.

4. Scranton, Pennsylvania Never topping any "must-go" lists, you'll particularly want to skip Scranton later this year, when The Office Fan Tour returns to the not-so-fair city, allowing diehard fans of the gone-on-too-long show to get on a bus together and enjoy some NBC-sanctioned tourism. The four-hour tour includes exciting stops like the University of Scranton and the Radisson Lackawanna Station and a gift bag with Dunder Mifflin items from the NBC store. Sort of makes you wonder if Office fans are making a bid to be the new Trekkies.

5. Rotorua, New Zealand Yes, the scenic region on NZ North Island is known for its geothermal activity, scenic lakes, spas and Maori culture, all of which make it a fairly popular tourist destination. However, it's also known for its pungent aroma, proclaiming itself the "most noxious city on the planet" with a delicious odor described as having notes of rotten eggs, boiling cabbage, and cheesy feet The sulfur fumes from all the geothermal activity are so strong, they can reportedly choke a horse at 100 meters. We're not quite sure what that means for two-legged creatures, but we think we'll look for less smelly locales for spa treatments.

6. Chernobyl, Ukraine Sure, the VICE kids went there a few years back, but we're gonna have to pass on a Chernobyl visit, though it does sound intriguing. Visitors can arrange an all-inclusive, English guided tour, and fear not, the lunch is brought in from outside of the "Chernobyl zone." The tour includes not only the reactors but also the "Red Forest," a pine forest in the immediate vicinity of the reactor where plants and animals died or mutated as a result of the radiation exposure, and a visit to the Opachychi village, where residents were initially evacuated but some re-settlers have returned. Ultimately, it's the fact that the tour begins and ends with radioactivity testing for all participants that puts it on the "no-go" list. That and the fact that tour goers are also allowed to bring their own personal dosimeters for measuring their radiation exposure.

7. Mexico The drug war has been going on for a long time, but shit has recently gotten really hairy South of the border. A Juarez cartel skinned a man's face and sewed it to a soccer ball. After a Naval hero killed during a drug raid was given a state funeral, gun men stormed his house and killed his mother, brother, sister and aunt. Even Tijuana, long an innocent border town of donkey shows and shady farmacias, where SoCal frat boys could observe another country's culture (or at least witness the objectification of its women) and score some dubious Vicodin, has seen a rash of violence in the new year. Less than two weeks into 2010 and four people have been decapitated, at least ten have been murdered in drive-by shootings and five have been kidnapped.

8. Bakersfield, California Think of California and you might imagine beautiful beaches, San Francisco's cosmopolitan charm or the majestic beauty of the Sierra mountains. Erase that and you get Bakersfield, a sprawling city in the San Joaquin Valley some 110-miles from Los Angeles that earned the dubious distinction (one of its few distinctions) last year of having the country's worst level of fine-particle pollution, a particularly toxic mix of soot, chemicals, diesel exhaust, metals and aerosol that can contribute to heart problems and lung disease.

9. Orlando, Florida Bad food, creepily themed family resorts, no beach, sticky children in Disney princess regalia...there are many a reason not to go to Orlando, a peculiar destination which combines the annoyances of Vegas -- soulless mega-resorts, kitschy themes, an overly dominant tourism sector -- minus the cheap booze, strippers, gambling, nice restaurants, and luxury shopping. This spring, however brings a fresh reason to avoid Orlando. Universal unveils "The Wizarding World of Harry Potter" a new theme park that will reduce the beloved books to just another theme park with long lines and overpriced food and beverage.

10. New York Yes, I live here, but it may be best to avoid New York this year, or at least around May when Sex and the City 2 hits theaters, promising a rash of cheesy publicity campaigns and a sudden influx of wannabe Carries, Charlottes, Mirandas, and Samanthas (especially Samanthas). It ain't gonna be pretty. That, coupled with Mayor buzzkill Bloomberg's ongoing health crusades -- his latest against salt -- and we're gonna recommend leaving NYC to the locals who can better navigate the subway system and its numerous construction delays and reroutings.

And one extra: 11. Tiger Woods' Pants. Played out ladies, played out.