Sure, he looks sweet enough, but deep down, southern charmer Luke Wilson is one Texan you don’t want to mess with. Here, the star of this summer’s porn-caper comedy, Middle Men, rattles off the things that stoke his ire.

1. I’m trying to keep it positive these days, so maybe I could say that I dislike most of these things. That said—I hate leaf blowers. They might be the primary reason I moved out of Los Angeles to Texas Hill Country. 2. I hate that Buddy Holly died so young. He was a recording genius. To watch and listen to him grow older would have been unreal. 3. I don’t like having a bad dream, waking up from it, going back to sleep, and then being right back in the dream. 4. I’m not a fan of heartbreak. 5. I hate rude guys—shoot, I thought I was a Playboy Playmate for a minute there. 6. I dislike the time I waste watching television. 7. I do not like the fact that I grew up in the town where JFK was killed and then moved to the town where RFK was killed. 8. I don’t like the loss of small-town America. I understand growth and its part in America’s history, but it’s too bad that chains like Walmart seem to have hurt those towns. 9. I hate that I’ll write a letter and not send it because, in the back of my mind, I never believe it will get there. 10. I hate that Ed, the old guy from across the street, died at the Veterans Affairs hospital alone and that I didn’t know. 11. Hell, let’s end it upbeat: I hate that I don’t have Jeff Bridges’ hair.