The Village Voice has legitimized the media's feverish obsession with LES speakeasy Chloe 81 by cataloging its recent coverage with an actual chronological history, you know, the kind they use for wars and stuff. Yes, we're a major historical figure in Chloe's storied media-coverage past, and we admit to spending hours in the situation room pontificating on whether or not Chloe is the new Beatrice Inn. Which is why, tomorrow, at sundown, we will be holding a press conference in front of neutral nightspot Rose Bar, to lay down the final verdict on Chloe 81. Only then can we get back to more pressing matters, like the economy and whether or not Scarlett Johansson knows how to sing.