Almost as exciting as the plot of 1992's Year of the Comet -- or any Tim Daly vehicle for that matter -- Eno wine bar at the Intercontinental Chicago has picked up two bottles of the very rare 1935 Barros White Colheita Port, a.k.a. the "Lolita Port." Legend goes that Mr. Barros (a.k.a. the Humbert Humbert of this scenario) had a secret love affair with a woman who worked at his winery. To show his affection, he corked a special port just for her. She never got to taste a drop, however, because Barros died of some quick-acting tuberculosis, and subsequently the unmarked and unlabeled port has spent over 70 years forgotten and undisturbed in a cellar.

Now, Eno is selling their two 375-ml bottles at $440 a pop. No tastings. No buying by the glass. No fondling the sommelier for a sip. Those fortunate enough to have tasted the Lolita Port say it's an exceptionally elegant wine with intense acidity, aromas of spices, nuts, and rich wood, and a smooth, round finish. Kinda sounds like a description of Oprah. To see a full list of Eno's wine click here.