Shame on all of us. Probably even me! While we were discovering Tiger Woods mistresses like Russian nesting dolls and discussing the golfer's asshat tendencies, Woods was whisked through hospital doors, trying to recover from a possible drug overdose with wife Elin Nordegren faithfully by his side. Between him and Alexa Ray Joel there must be a swath of doctors who are being far too loose with their prescription pads. More unsettling: There is now, undoubtedly, at least one similarity that this once-dignified sports star shares with Lindsay Lohan, the archetypal gossip punchline. Most unsettling: That we'd be quicker to forgive Lindsay Lohan for substance abuse than Tiger Woods.

The day after Thanksgiving, Woods had been admitted, with doctors even hooking him up to tubes in order to assist with his breathing. Nordegren turned over pill bottles of Ambien and Vicodin. Initially, Woods was admitted under the alias "William Smith" but hospital officials kept changing that to ensure his privacy. Though he's out of the ER now, the damage to Woods' career remains nearly irreparable.

This wrinkle in Woods' fame arc -- in addition to the late-breaking news of a woman being rushed from his home to the hospital early this morning -- may make impossible/significantly delay any comeback. Perhaps it's because we actually have high standards for Woods. So although people forgive and forget the pill-popping hot-messery of its dim celeberati -- like Lohan, Mischa Barton, Britney Spears -- we'll scrutinize Woods. We want him to be upstanding and shiny, and not only because that's what his image purported. He's made a name for himself in a niche industry, where a J.Crew-ified brand of all-Americanism goes a long way.

Hollywood, for all of its glitz and glamour, is kind of a moral vacuum. For as shocked as we act when someone like Lohan fumbles, we're actually always half-expecting her to OD or pick a fight. But among sports, standards are different. Sports heroes are an American shorthand for parenting. Unfortunately anyone who's making major bank off shilling Nikes, golfers to Olympians and then some, has to maintain an image so pristine that even the JoBros would appear shady. So sadly, it's here we have to make peace with the fact that Woods now has years of damage control ahead of him, perhaps at the end of a decade, he'll be able to get that magazine cover. By then, we'll be able to put behind us his overdose and Tiger's Ten and move on.

However, probably issuing some sort of statement to the press should not be Woods' camp. Rather SNL writers for slapping together such a vapid skit, which seems in even poorer taste given this development.