Alright, fine, it's Famous Dick Day at BlackBook, what with Prince Harry and Shia LeBeouf and now Ryan Lochte. Yes, apparently there's a Lochte cockte (kill me) pic and the folks over at Deadspin have their hands all over it.
Deadspin is presently in negotiations with a person who is in possession of a photograph of a penis. The penis supposedly belongs to Olympic gold/silver/bronze swimming medalist Ryan Lochte. The photograph is a neck-down bathroom-mirror self-portrait, in which the tip of the penis almost but not quite reaches into the sink basin.
The provenance of the photo is less than ideal. It was allegedly taken for a now-ex-girlfriend of Lochte's. After the Olympics, a friend of the ex began passing the photo along to her friends, and it soon made its way to our source.
We have seen the photograph. The body in the photo is shaved like a swimmer's body, with tan lines from racing trunks. The contours of the torso appear to match the contours of Lochte's torso, particularly the deep crease across the abdominal muscles, angling up at the sides. The position of the subject/photographer's right arm makes it impossible to tell whether Lochte's other distinguishing marks—his Olympic-rings arm tattoo and a prominent pectoral mole—are present. (Photo research suggests, in fact, that Lochte had the pectoral mole removed between the 2008 Beijing Olympics and this year's London ones.)
Okay, first of all:
(Yes, shockingly like a non-Olympic penis.)
But if that doesn't drive you mad with desire for that dummy's dick, head over to Deadspin's Cockstarter page to throw a few bucks into the fund. As of this writing, they've raised very little of their $5K goal. (That's a burn on Lochte, I think?)