American Idol is still a thing? Well, then! As the current season of Idol--allegedly Cowell's last--flails on, it's important that we, as people who lack anything meaningful to do on weeknights, comb each overlong episode for all subtext of acrimony between Cowell and new Idol guest DeGeneres we can find. Because they can't stand each other! And not in that playful big bro-hates-on-lil' sis way that Simon and Paula couldn't stand each other. According to insiders, from DeGeneres' first day, tensions were high, horns were locked and any number of other clichés you can think of to describe two people clashing. Yes, Howard Stern can't come soon enough to relieve Cowell of what has become a Brian Dunkleman-like existence as a thorn in Idol's side.

● Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt will sue News of the World after the paper published allegations about the couple splitting. If they win and take over the paper, the pair will order staff to report exclusively on Jennifer Aniston's loneliness. [BBC]
● Highlights from Taylor Swift's tour rider: sunshine, puppies, rainbows and the blood of one-thousand babies. [ONTD]
● Rapper Nicki Minaj is offering a $50,000 reward to anyone who can locate her stuffed pink monkey, Oscar. [Idolator]

What’s a woman who wants to play football to do? Sit on the couch and cheer alongside the rest of couch potato nation? Join a touch football league? Suit up as a cheerleader? What if she could play some honest to God, full contact football, on television, in front of a crowd, for money—so long as she was willing to do so in her underwear? Well, if that’s the case, she just might play for the Lingerie Football League.

Love getting stoned, but wish it were more expensive? Are you and your manicure sick of rolling joints like some poor person? Does weed smoke hurt your delicate patrician throat? Have we got the thing for you!

Jeff Koons isn't shy. He’s the neo-pop artist responsible for towering (forty-three feet!) flower puppies, planting “scandalous objects” on the lawn of Versailles and most infamously, a life-size shrine to the King of Pop and his favorite primate. Koons’ is also the guy behind some of the strangest eroticized art of our time, as well as some of the most comically received. The artist’s latest project? Creating the next BMW Art Car, an undertaking that Andy Warhol, Roy Lichtenstein and David Hockney, among others, have also committed to. What does Koons have in store for us? We can only guess. Some stand-out Art Cars and a few of Koons’ most “inspiring” works after the jump.

The forthcoming Cop Out (a.k.a. A Couple of Dicks) is Kevin Smith’s first studio-backed picture since Mallrats, and if the ubiquitous trailer is any indication, it will likely succeed where Zach and Miri failed in winning the director a wider audience. Does this mean Smith’s gone mainstream? Sold out? Not necessarily. In a move that seems at once clever, desperate, rare and most definitely intended to assure fans of his indie bona fides, Smith’s already announced that one of his next projects will be…wait for it…fan-financed! Make checks payable to Clerks III, LLC.

Tomorrow sees the end of a decade-long recording hibernation for the Grammy-winning pop star Sade. The last time she put out an album, 2000's Lover Rock, the music industry was a very different place. Napster was just a baby, and Pitchfork was still something the devil carried. But Soldier of Love—out tomorrow—is already number two on the Amazon charts thanks to pre-sales, meaning that even in the age of Hype Machine, Sade fans like their music served up the old school way. Fortunately for you, we don't. So in honor of plummeting record sales, here is Sade's Soldier of Love, for free, after the jump.

Ladies, you might be earning higher degrees and more money than your gentlemen counterparts, but you’ve still got to play by men's rules. Take for instance the Sunday Styles piece The New Math on Campus. The New York Times spent the weekend providing reasons why most college gals can't land a man (it's because they text them after meeting at a late-night diner!) Then the Daily Mail did all of womankind a solid and investigated why ladies should order salads, and refrain from wearing fashionable clothes on their next date. Follow these man-friendly rules and maybe you wont be alone this Valentine's Day.

Subtlety has never been MTV's strong suit, nor did it ever really need to be. Being crass worked fine, from Beavis and Butt-head to Tom Green. But if you think about the channel's transition from purveyor of music cool to shoveler of reality trash, it has been surprisingly gradual. It might seem like MTV served as a middleman between the alternative hip (Andy Warhol had a show!) and the consumerist mainstream, and then, one day... boom Snooki! But just think about how long people have been decrying the lack of music videos on MTV. Today, the network officially removes the words "Music Television" from its logo, and sure, it's belated, but now it's real and it has a lot to do with Jersey Shore.

● Not only have Brangelina not broken up, if these photos of the pair at the Super Bowl are any indicator, Brad still spontaneously feels Angie up every chance he gets. [Perez]
● How rich people smoke pot—with really expensive paraphernalia. [Daily Beast]
● New Orleanians celebrate their Saints in this smile-inducing video set to “When the Saints Go Marching in” [Deadspin]
● Like a good car crash, you won’t be able to look away: the five most memorable figure skating falls. [EW]