So you're a leathery husk of a once-fearless band (The Rolling Stones) looking to recapture some long-lost mojo. What to do!? You pin your hopes on a viral internet sensation who became one of the year's most unlikely and enduring pop stars (Susan Boyle) and let her continue doing the legwork for one of your most overplayed singles. Naturally! And it's here that her predictably stirring rendition of "Wild Horses" has breathed life into the withered rock outfit. In fact, Boyle's runaway success is the impetus behind the Stones' new reissue of the single, which include remastered versions of the tune as well as a live recording of the tune from 1995's Stripped. Meanwhile SuBo's worldwide chart conquest is well underway, with many tipping I Dreamed A Dream to go platinum before Christmas. After the break is her performance of "Wild Horses" at last night's X-Factor show which also saw the exit of her favorite contenders Jedward.

Some time ago, Mariah Carey, of all pop stars, remarked incisively about how it's no longer enough for musicians to record songs. Now they have to establish themselves as businesses. It then makes sense that Robbie Williams, who's currently riding the high of a well-tailored comeback, is looking to branch out similarly. With his current four-album record deal with EMI coming to a close, Williams is looking to sidestep record label bosses and establish himself as a self-governing musical entity for the next phase of his career. This way, investors -- maybe including financial institutions -- would his production costs on the promise of a 50% return on all profits. It's another advance that hacks away overgrown weeds of an industry still gasping to keep up with the predominantly digital tendencies of music fans. It also makes them the latest in a growing line of self-employed pop stars increasingly fed up with record label cock-ups.

So last night at some thing on the telly, a lady with a light-up rib-cage bopped about on stage and then sat down a piano. Oh what's that? The piano was on fire? Pianos sometimes do that! Later, a young man wearing eyeliner decided it would be a good idea to jam his tongue down the mouth of one of the other people hired to accompany him. Perhaps that other person was hired to house the boy's tongue in his mouth in addition to banging away on the keyboard. What with the recession, we can't afford to be fussy and demand jobs that honor our "dignity." This young man, at various points during his performance, also had the mouths of men pressed up against his groin. I think it was supposed to be sexy. Then again, some people may accidentally find this to be sexy. Whatever. Ultimately, between Lady Gaga and Adam Lambert, the American Music Awards had foils to what was otherwise a total night devoted to getting the red states off and then sticking around long enough to make mundane pillow talk.

While sitting backstage at hipster mecca Brooklyn Bowl with Jon Gutwillig of The Disco Biscuits, the curly haired, baby-faced front man asks if I’d object to him lying down on a couch for our interview. He explains that it's half because he's been on a bender and half because he may need some actual therapy. We proceed to talk about his life in a mock session for the next hour, until the fictitious buzzer goes off. This particular show came as a pleasant surprise for the jam band’s New York fans, as an official celebratory show of sorts for the release of their EP, On Time. Their last studio releases came back in ’06 (The Wind at Four to Fly and Rocket 3), leaving time for building anticipation. “'On Time' is totally for the chicks,” says Gutwillig of the feature track, “We put two remixes of it on the album -- one for the dudes and one for the chicks.”

A wretchedly campy thing trending overseas is Jedward. As Americans, we tend to be suspicious of kitschy gimmicks burgeoning abroad. Maybe too many of us still feel burned by past instances of British kistch. Beats me! It's an instinct that the latest act to spiral into international prominence through X-Factor--Britain's answer to American Idol--will pummel through, eventually garnering anywhere between one and three top ten hits here in a quiet time when Beyoncé and Gaga are both enjoying much-needed sabbaticals. If only because X-Factor alum Leona Lewis has fared so well on both sides of the Atlantic. According to Wikipedia, "are an Irish music act. Known for their distinctive blonde hairstyles and unique performances." A unique performance that doesn't necessarily stir SiCo's loins like Leona could. Comprised of people named John and Edward and totally unrelated to our 2004 Democratic VP candidiate, they've won praise from Jay-Z mentee Cheryl Cole and are finding fast fans in Susan Boyle and The Jonas Brothers. They're already tipped to win the talent show.

With the release of her new album, Ultraviolet, Kid Sister is finally making her mark on the music industry and showing us that she’s more than just another Kanye disciple. Over the last three years she has given us a taste of her fearless style and unique sound, but now we get to see what this Chi-town native is really capable of. We caught up with the spunky Kid Sister to talk about being a woman in a man's world and how if you don't like her sound, you might just be allergic to fun.

With peer-to-peer music sharing platform Spotify gaining attention and whetting the American palate for US inclusion, one can’t help but reminisce of the Muxtape and Mixwit days before the RIAA shut that shit down. Back in middle school, we made mixtapes (well, depending on the year you were enrolled, or repeating those grades). And, in high school, mix CDs proved our hip factor to the world. Sure, there are still those of us who invest the time and energy in making and distributing mix CDs, but usually once the time comes to burn your masterpiece, the apartment/officewide hunt for blank CDs begins. Forget that noise -- making playlists online is the most magical way to share your musical taste and gain cred for being in the know and possessing the skill to make a good list.

One thing I love about Los Angeles is that everyone comes here, and I don't have to go anywhere -- they come to me. Case in point: Joey Arias, the drag diva who first made a splash in New York's underground drag scene and then went on to infamy at Cirque du Soleil's sexytime Zumanity in Las Vegas, is here in town. I can go see him without jumping on a 3,000-mile (or 250-mile) flight for the next few weeks, in "Arias with a Twist." The name stems from the collaboration with Basil Twist, a puppeteer who conjured the fantastical set that Mr. Arias performs on.

Oh, look! Another flailing pop queen in distress. They're all the rage aren't they? What with their Brazilian boy-toying and their creative multitasking. Get too close and they may burn you with their fiery vitriol! Stay far away and they get needy. Yes these flailing pop queens are a fickle breed. But they, too have feelings. Like Janet Jackson, for instance -- who, between staring down some harsh truths about her late great brother and forthcoming obligations at some asinine awards ceremony, is having the worst week ever.

Here's the great thing about Vampire Weekend's new video for "Cousins," a track off of their forthcoming album, Contra: it makes the song better. The fact that bands are even making music videos -- and good ones, as opposed to this bullshit -- makes me happy. It's a dying art (no thanks to MTV of all people, who gave it to us in the first place). So any effort put forth on this front, I can appreciate. But I'm still a little saddened by it. That doesn't mean it's not good! I've heard the album, I've got my reasons. Lemme explain. Contra spoilers, after the jump.