It’s an understatement to say that SXSW Interactive has become “commercial” -- it makes Nickleback look indie (that band will probably give a keynote about social media next year). SXSW can be an extremely effective branding opportunity for businesses of all types. Thus there are many complimentary services and goods available throughout the festival. Some of them are weak (another heavy cotton t-shirt with your whiz-bang logo on it? Really?), some of them are helpful (my fiancee will be pleased with all of the canvas totes), and some are downright outrageous. I’ve cataloged them in this list, where I’ll rank them for you on the Star Jones Scale of Shameless Giftmongering (1 is relatively shame-free, while 10 is for the type of giveaway that obliterates any last trace of your conscience).

Free breakfast tacos - To be honest, most of these were very sad and unappetizing. The only shame is in actually eating one once it’s been handed to you. Star Jones Scale: 1

Free beer in the Blogger’s Lounge - Free alcohol is nothing special; there’s a whole cottage industry in interactive media geared toward finding open bars anywhere in the world. This one was a little more decadent because it was at the convention center in room reserved for bloggers (which, really, was anyone who asked) and it meant you could get drunk for free as early as 3pm while still attending panels. The blogger’s lounge was actually nicer than the press lounge. Star Jones Scale: 3

Free chair massages in the Press Lounge - The one advantage the Press Lounge had over the Blogger’s Lounge. Star Jones Scale: 4

Free sneakers - Nick McGlynn of RandomNightOut.com received a complimentary pair of new kicks courtesy of Klout. They were not shoddy looking. When you think about how much one pair must cost, and how they had to bring a variety of sizes ... Star Jones Scale: 8

Free water - There were water coolers for bottle refills in various places in the conference venues. Doesn’t sound decadent unless you consider that bottled water was on sale for $3.50 per 16oz bottle otherwise. Star Jones Scale: 2

Free top-shelf open bar with glowing LED ice cubes in the drinks - Courtesy of Gizmodo. I took home a few cubes. They’ll make fun cat toys. Star Jones Scale: 4

Free keychains for “Age of Booty” - Found at SXSW Screenburn. Ostensibly for a pirate-based game, but unintentionally amusing to me. I had a buddy in college who’s nickname was “Jay Booty,” and it was not because he kept a pile of gold doubloons. Star Jones Scale: 1

Free Cab Service courtesy of Chevy Cruze - Because when doesn’t a car company send a fleet of vehicles for free public use to a trade show? By the way, the wait for regular “for-profit” cab service is often over an hour. Star Jones Scale: 7

Free boxing match between Costume Mike Tyson and Midget Mike Tyson - The real Mike Tyson stopped by over the weekend, but I vastly prefer midget boxing. Star Jones Scale: 6

Free Diplo concert in the Seaholm Power House produced by Vimeo and Nikon, with free beer and mixed drinks - Best Interactive festival party by a long mile. I would have flown here just for that. Star Jones Scale: 8

Free coffee from Microsoft Internet Explorer 9 served from a backpack jet dispenser in cups that could be used as tickets for the Internet Explorer party - Review all those details once again. Then consider that no one except your grandmother still uses Internet Explorer. If you actually went as far as to drink the coffee AND attend the party ... Star Jones Scale: 10

Free unlimited time with a giant pile of Legos - It’s not like Legos are rare items, but file under “Things you’d never buy yourself.” Star Jones Scale: 4

Free night’s stay at the Driskill Hotel - Caveat: your bed is on the lobby floor, among hundreds of revelers. Star Jones Scale: 3

Free Boss Hogg donut from Gourdough's courtesy of Squarespace - It’s a very large donut topped with pulled pork and potato salad. Even if you were to pay full retail price for one of these, it’s absolutely the most gluttonous thing you can consume. If it were to include bacon somehow, it would shatter all giftmongering records. Star Jones Scale: 10