I think our next president should be a Morman. Not the Mitt Romney variety—heavens no. I'm thinking more along the lines of a Big Love type, with 47 wives and a zillion kids. A man who can handle that can handle anything. Club relationships are also very "special," as the industry comes with many distractions, confusions, and temptations—similar to a whole lot of "sister-wives" drama. When you see a relationship working in this industry, it should be celebrated, maybe even studied. I enjoyed watching Snap/Bloc Group honcho Mathew Isaacs interact with his lovely Danielle DeGregory last night as she celebrated her birthday at his venue.

It was a monsoon on the official opening night of the Mondrian SoHo. The best laid plans of bloggers fell victim to the incredible weather. I mean, what will they think of next—a tornado? A meteorite shower? The plan was to pick up DJ Jennifly and her crew at Onieals on Grand Street and then skip over to the big bash. It was the legendary Chris Onieal's birthday and his place was jammed with the sexiest old school New York crowd. Chris was friendly and happy—a good time was had by all. The people who do come out on nights like that are highly motivated to enjoy themselves.

Before I head to B.east tonight to play with DJ Jennifly and her friends at her Hustle party, I will attend the new opening at the Fuse Gallery. The attraction is “Songs,” an exhibition that “features a number of works from a number of mediums. Each work in the exhibition was influenced by the words of the artists' favorite songs, and how the words impact and influence the work they make.” Among the too-many-to list-here artists are Mick Rock, Steve Powers, Alex Arcadia, Tim Barber, Leo Fitzpatrick, Angela Boatwright, Kembra Pfahler, Anton Perich, and Spencer Sweeney.

I’m late writing today because I have been trying to clone myself all morning. I am getting so busy as a DJ that I may have to give up my pottery or my vegan cooking classes. Tonight I am double-booked by people who must be tone deaf. First off, I will DJ a birthday bash for my pal Greg “The Smile” Brier, who is also celebrating the 2-year anniversary of his restaurant/joint Aspen Social Club. This Times Square affair starts at 5pm for the locals and goes real late for the loyalists who love the joint. My name is listed on the invite along with other DJs, but appears 3x bigger than the rest, who are absolutely 10x better than me at making music. But I am pretty, and sometimes that will get you through the night. Shoot, it got my ex’s through years.

In the end, I end up at subMercer because it is reliable, well-run, intelligent, classy, unpretentious, and adult. My goodness, I could go on forever, but of course goodness has nothing to do with it -- subMercer is sexy. Doormaster Richard Alvarez and I exchanged a dozen "oh my gods" and "you look greats" and we both said "fierce" and "fabulous" and "work" a few times before I went subterranean. A sea of familiar faces greeted me and mine. Gabby Mejia, who rules this gem, got me my usual -- a glass of water -- and stunned me with conversation and a slinky black cocktail dress. Greg Brier of Brier Group's Aspen, Aspen Social, Highbar, Amalia, and D'or fame was celebrating his birthday, and he didn't look nearly as old as people said he was. DJs Justin Strauss and Tommy James were hanging out to support by being even a bit older than Greg. One of mine said Greg was "charismatic and handsome and fun and it was amazing that he was as old as he was." I reminded her that I have shoes as old as him. She asked, "How long have you guys known each other?" and I said, "I can't tell you how we met or where or how long ago, or I would be dating myself," and then looked her up and down and realized I already was.

Amy Gunther of the Williamsburg North skateboard mecca KCDC asked me to do the door at the Art Mosh opening in West Chelsea last night. The event, promoted by PAPER magazine and uber-trendy watch company Nixon, attracted a Jane-worthy hipster crowd. It was pretty much a no-brainer until the space hit its legal capacity and a large crowd of equally important folks got stuck outside. Then it was 3 out, let 3 in, and I had to actually work ... it's been a long time since I had to work a door. Four PAPER interns were on hand to help, as was PAPER's director of events Nicky Balestrieri. A hundred people were in the street and very few were leaving, as free booze and great music from cinematographer, filmmaker, and actor Shawn Regruto kept everybody happy. Oh yes, there was a great photography show as well. I controlled the crowd, whisked the super VIPs in as fast as allowed, and I thought of the problems over at the Jane and other hotspots where only a chosen few will ever get in.