The thing about being a beauty junkie is that you're allowed to be a novice. It's not about turning into a highlight-obsessed Bergdorf Blonde or investing your 401K in indulgent anti-aging treatments. Personally, I think it means actively exploring what you like and what makes you feel good, being scrappy about saving dough, and basically making that whole commercial beauty enterprise work for you. But then again, I'm a novice. I happen to be a lucky junkie and can get my fix of the next big beauty obsession thanks to the nature of my job; but I never obsess or buy into every promised-land product that comes my way. To be honest, homemade scrubs and a 10-minute morning routine puts me in the "low maintenance" bracket. Except when it comes to one thing: eyebrows. I am diligently obsessed and frequently frustrated with my eyebrows, though for some reason I have never fronted the time or money to see an actual professional brow-shaper. Until I found Sue Ellen Gifford at the Pierre Michel Salon, that is.

One day. That's how long it was possible to go without adding yet another scoop of fluffernutter to the ever-expanding bit of anthropology we'll call Gagaography. Last night, Her Highness of Unexpected Pop Conquest unveiled "Speechless" off The Fame Monster, while dancers from the Bolshoi Ballet pliéd along. The whole to-do celebrated the 30th anniversary of L.A.'s Museum of Contemporary Art.

For her next progeny prospect, Angelina Jolie has toured the allegedly evil nation of Syria. Famed for its crude oil reserves and raw cotton trade, the country -- rich not only in political strife, but ethnic diversity -- is the latest object of Jolie's affection. She's said to have "fallen in love with" the nation. Although that's not where discord between Jolie and Brad Pitt stems. Rather, tensions are high because Pitt wants to put the Jolie-Pitt brood cap at six rugrats, and Jolie, not content with postcards or his-and-hers tees, wants to bring back a little tyke for the other six to bully mercilessly.

Unlike her younger self Megan Fox, nobody doubts the acting abilities of Angelina Jolie. You know that shiny gold man she keeps in that cardboard box in the attic? Well, it's called an Academy Award, and she won it for being an excellent pretender. Today, we get our first look at Angie's latest exercise in make-believe, in the trailer for her espionage movie Salt. Jolie plays a CIA agent who is wrongly accused of spying for the Russians, and she gets chased around New York City by people who may or may not be her friends. Angelina Jolie's fame is so mind-fucking that it's hard to imagine her as anything else other than the mother of Brad Pitt's International School of Children, but her talent is so huge that she can vanish into just about any role. After the jump, we have your free pass to Acting 101, taught to you by none other than Angelina Jolie herself.

● Brad Pitt (dressed as Lance Rock of Yo Gabba Gabba) and Angelina Jolie (zombie) took Maddox, Zahara, and Shiloh for some Halloween fun in L.A on Saturday. [Radar]
● Edward Norton was one of many that participated in the New York City Marathon yesterday, finishing in 3 hours, 48 minutes, and 1 second; he was running to raise awareness for the Maasai Wilderness Conservation Trust. [E!]
● Elton John’s tour with Billy Joel is being put off after John contracted a case of E. coli and has been ordered by doctors not to perform. [CBC]

● Jon Gosselin’s current girlfriend Hailey Glassman says he’s “emotionally abusive” and throws “mantrums,” although she still loves him and is still with him and don’t worry she knows their relationship is “not normal.” [People]
● 50 Cent declares: “the credit crunch has hit rap.” Need proof? The rapper must sell his old diamonds before he buys new ones. [Telegraph]
● The Catholic League is mad at Larry David’s alter-ego Larry David, who accidentally peed on a painting of Jesus in a recent episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm. He's also Jewish, not that there's anything wrong with that. [Popeater]

With the "R" in her LTR set to splinter off and drop out entirely for Rosie O'Donnell, perhaps there's no time like the present to go on the record about close calls and missed encounters. O'Donnell, known most famously for portraying Betty Rubble in the 1994 film adaptation of The Flintstones, has already hinted at trouble brewing between her and partner Kelli Carpenter. And while no one's driven the final stake through their love, O'Donnell's already started shooting her mouth off about a sweet, tender, steamy love that once almost was. With Angelina Jolie no less. It's a tale as old as time itself, but evergreen like pines in the Great North. It's the traditional tale of the fat girl waiting by the punch bowl at the prom for the sexy mom of six to float over to her and initiate the first dance.

● In Michael Lohan’s guesstimation, Lindsay Lohan has a week, or a month, or a year to live and needs to be in a long-term rehab, lest she wind up like Heath Ledger, who Michael would like you to know was very close to Lilo. [NYDailyNews]
● Lady Gaga’s ninth tattoo will be a dedication to her father, who lived through open-heart surgery. Fittingly, Gaga plans to get a heart with the word "Dad" inside of it. [ContactMusic]
● Natalie Portman defends her vegetarianism by comparing eating meat to rape. [Celebrity-Gossip]

● Is Lindsay Lohan picking over Sienna Miller’s sloppy seconds? Lindsay was evidently late to her court appearance last week because she was making out with Balthazar Getty at a club till the wee hours of the morning. [Dose]
● Blue Bloods, the vampire TV vehicle Mary-Kate Olsen was to star in for the CW, was not picked up because it was too similar to Gossip Girl. Er, OK. [Limelife]
● K2 Productions, which directs the Miss California USA pageant, is suing Carrie Prejean to get their breast implants back -- or at least the $5,200 they paid for them. [E!]

● Michael Lohan is suing Perez Hilton so he “stops with the pornographic and the obscene material” on his website…meaning he wants Perez to stop drawing penises on his daughters faces. [Contact Music]
● Angelina Jolie is taking over for Charlize Theron in the film The Tourist where she will play yet another gun-toting bad-ass. This time it’s an Interpol agent who manipulates an American tourist for her own purposes. [Just Jared]
● Britney Spears is really dedicated to staying sober. That’s why she’s insisting on random drug testing for her whole tour crew (all 225 of them) while they are touring Australia. [Herald Sun]