● Not only have Brangelina not broken up, if these photos of the pair at the Super Bowl are any indicator, Brad still spontaneously feels Angie up every chance he gets. [Perez]
● How rich people smoke pot—with really expensive paraphernalia. [Daily Beast]
● New Orleanians celebrate their Saints in this smile-inducing video set to “When the Saints Go Marching in” [Deadspin]
● Like a good car crash, you won’t be able to look away: the five most memorable figure skating falls. [EW]

● For 19 years, an Austrian billionaire has been paying celebrity women $150,000 to accompany him to the Vienna Opera Ball. This year it was Lindsay Lohan, but with the free Mischa Barton rebate. [Page Six]
● It's that time of the week again: an article about how texting, Facebook and Twitter are OMG RUININ INGLISH. [CTV]
● Tila Tequila took to Twitter to claim that rapper The Game was the father of her baby. He countered: "I wouldn't use 50's stick," meaning 50 Cent and penis. [Hip Hop Wired]

• Sadness! Tina Fey will not be joining 30 Rock co-star Alec Baldwin and guest star Steve Martin as a third Oscar host. [E!]
• Lady Gaga and the rest of the world would appreciate it if you could refrain from cracking anymore of those silly hermaphrodite jokes. [Digital Spy]
• Dexter's Michael C. Hall says his SAG win has boosted his spirits. All together now: "Aww!" [People]

• Should Brad Pitt go all Tiger Woods on Angelina Jolie and a split becomes imminent, Jolie gets full custody of the kids. Their joint $330 million fortune will be split 50/50. [DListed]
• Kristen Stewart on her new stripper movie: "It's about understanding who you're playing and you have a responsibility because you feel like you can't let them down." [MTV]
• All because of Susan Boyle: The Scottish delicacy haggis could make a poignant comeback in the U.S. for the first time in 20 years. [The Press Association]

Valuable lesson learned this week: If you're a celebrity having an (alleged) extramarital affair, and/or someone who likes sex on the kinkier side, choose a more discreet hotel than New York's Waldorf Astoria. Yep, that's what we have to learn from this week's In Touch, which features a fired maid from the hotel dishing on what she found in Angelina Jolie's suite.

● In time for the New Year, Angelina has told Brad that she wants to see other people -- oh she still wants to be with Brad, it's just that Angie would like to have sex with other men ... and women as well. [Showbizspy]
● What is a father of six to do with that news? If you’re Brad Pitt, you take your eldest sons (Maddox and Pax) for a raucous round of video games at Dave and Busters in low-key Times Square. [JustJared]
● If things do go south with Angelina, at least Brad has Guy Ritchie, who would like to re-team with Pitt for the forthcoming sequel to Sherlock Holmes. [Popeater]

Tiger Woods may be up to his putter in a mistress scandal, but what's most disturbing about this particular case of martial infidelity is that Tiger's wife is a ridiculously attractive Nordic supermodel. Despite this fact, the man still found it necessary to cheat with strange picked up at various bars across the country. Sure, some of the girls in question aren't too shabby either, but was it really worth it? Now, no one here is advocating cheating on wives or significant others, but if you are a celebrity and you do decide to cheat, at least shoot for an upgrade. For example!

Twist! Despite an unlucky number of mistresses and losing everything from Gatorade sponsorships to his Tag Heuer deal, imperiled golfer Tiger Woods has gained something valuable: A totally tenuous tie to Angelina Jolie! Score! Hole in one! Other sports jargon indicating success!

Golly, if it isn't one thing, it's another. It seems there's a storm gathering in Brangelina's house! White picket fences are being torn from the ground! Daisies are being picked over! Crockpots have gone missing! Babies are flying! Goodbye, Zahara! Rain's coming down in sheets! The dispute is allegedly over Barack Obama's role as POTUS. Details originate from Daily Star's Jess Brown, who articulately states, "All couples row, ’tis a fact of life. But usually it’s more along the lines of whose turn it is to put out the bin bags or his PS3 addiction. Politics don’t really come into it." Yes, Jess Brown. You and your hard-hitting look inside what makes couples tick really are an asset to the celebrity-industrial complex.

The thing about being a beauty junkie is that you're allowed to be a novice. It's not about turning into a highlight-obsessed Bergdorf Blonde or investing your 401K in indulgent anti-aging treatments. Personally, I think it means actively exploring what you like and what makes you feel good, being scrappy about saving dough, and basically making that whole commercial beauty enterprise work for you. But then again, I'm a novice. I happen to be a lucky junkie and can get my fix of the next big beauty obsession thanks to the nature of my job; but I never obsess or buy into every promised-land product that comes my way. To be honest, homemade scrubs and a 10-minute morning routine puts me in the "low maintenance" bracket. Except when it comes to one thing: eyebrows. I am diligently obsessed and frequently frustrated with my eyebrows, though for some reason I have never fronted the time or money to see an actual professional brow-shaper. Until I found Sue Ellen Gifford at the Pierre Michel Salon, that is.