● Simon Cowell has yet to comment on the appointment of Ellen DeGeneres as the new AI judge. Could he be mad at producers for not being in the know over the super-secret decision? [NYPost]
● Jay-Z is bigger than Elvis! The rapper’s latest effort has broken Elvis’ record as the solo artist with the most No. 1 albums in history. [Rap-Up]
● Mario Lopez will don a sexy S&M lingerie get-up (fishnet, garters, and all) when he returns to Nip/Tuck. [PopBytes]

● Scarlett Johansson’s directorial debut in the vignette series "I Love New York" has been cut for what producers say are "creative difference." [E!]
● Swine flu has stopped Heidi Klum and Seal’s renewal of their vows; the couple were married five years ago at their Mexican vacation home and hoped to duplicate the ceremony. I hear you can get a good deal in Vegas now. [LAT]
● Dennis Rodman is entering outpatient rehab so he doesn’t have to miss the Celebrity Apprentice reunion show. Why not just wait for the next season of Celebrity Rehab? [E!]

● Michael Jackson is backing out of renting a UK mansion for his summer tour because he’s worried that the ghosts which reportedly haunt the mansion will scare his kids. [NotW]
● Kate Winslet a MILF? Most definitely! While walking with her kids, two high school boys followed behind, commenting on her nice, full bottom. Who needs an Oscar with fans like that? [P6]
● Joel Madden let everyone on the Twitter-verse know he was asked to cover his tattoos by British Airways on a weekend flight to Lisbon. [Twitter]

Trident gum pulled a fun stunt in Piccadilly Circus on Monday: They planted 100 ladies in leotards and heels who busted out into the Beyonce "Single Ladies" choreography. The gig was to promote a contest to win tickets to the free Beyonce concert in November. Enjoy.

Because it's easier on you wannabe scientists trying to isolate that elusive Liza Minnelli gene in hopes of preserving it for the long-overdue Arrested Development movie, here's your week in superfluous diva melodrama.

● Oprah wants to interview Sarah Palin after all, but the accidental poet isn't interested. [Extra]
● Meanwhile, friend-of-Oprah Barbara Walters tears Rush Limbaugh a new one. [Jezebel]
● Britney Spears celebrates her third comeback in two years and a new music video by divulging her desire for a smaller cup size. [Showbizspy]

We’ll pass on dissecting the value of a "Lauren Conrad Autographed Handmade Baking Dish" and a "Jessica Simpson Mini Dallas Cowboy Helmet," but when it comes to celebrity clothing lines, let us get serious for a moment. We just don’t think it’s right for someone to use their celebrity status to convince people to buy things like a "Kimora Lee Simmons Blue Tunic Dress" or worse yet, the "Baby Phat Plus Size Scoop-Neck Sweater & Five-Pocket Jeans." Fortunately, for all the countless duds -- anyone familiar with Scarlett Johansson, Sadie Frost, Mandy Moore or 50 Cent’s lines? we didn’t think so -- there are a handful of winners.

Remember earlier this year, when scribbled "HAHAs" started appearing on stray sites, and people (except fanboys) started wondering why? Then word broke out that this was a viral marketing campaign for a movie called The Dark Knight, and these promo sites would drop the occasional goodie -- like images of Heath Ledger dressed as The Joker -- building oodles of anticipation leading up to the film's release. It kinda worked. Imitators, out of the woodwork you come. "Who is Sasha Fierce?", asks a mysterious new website, mysteriously called whoissashafierce.com. Then they ask you to take a guess -- text in your answer, or better yet, call! There's a prize in it for you if you guess right. Well, I know who Sasha Fierce is, because it's like, the worse kept secret in viral marketing.