One day. That's how long it was possible to go without adding yet another scoop of fluffernutter to the ever-expanding bit of anthropology we'll call Gagaography. Last night, Her Highness of Unexpected Pop Conquest unveiled "Speechless" off The Fame Monster, while dancers from the Bolshoi Ballet pliéd along. The whole to-do celebrated the 30th anniversary of L.A.'s Museum of Contemporary Art.

It’s old news that big-name celebrities who’d never lend their image to a television commercial in the states suffer few compunctions about doing so for the Japanese market. I’ve never quite gotten what’s so ignoble about shilling for the man here at home, especially since the idea of a Hollywood talent not wanting to be considered a sellout is laughably paradoxical, but nevertheless the trend continues with only rare exceptions. The latest to go Nipponese is Inglourious Basterds director Quentin Tarantino, who’s signed on to pitch for mobile carrier Softbank.

For her next progeny prospect, Angelina Jolie has toured the allegedly evil nation of Syria. Famed for its crude oil reserves and raw cotton trade, the country -- rich not only in political strife, but ethnic diversity -- is the latest object of Jolie's affection. She's said to have "fallen in love with" the nation. Although that's not where discord between Jolie and Brad Pitt stems. Rather, tensions are high because Pitt wants to put the Jolie-Pitt brood cap at six rugrats, and Jolie, not content with postcards or his-and-hers tees, wants to bring back a little tyke for the other six to bully mercilessly.

● Brad Pitt (dressed as Lance Rock of Yo Gabba Gabba) and Angelina Jolie (zombie) took Maddox, Zahara, and Shiloh for some Halloween fun in L.A on Saturday. [Radar]
● Edward Norton was one of many that participated in the New York City Marathon yesterday, finishing in 3 hours, 48 minutes, and 1 second; he was running to raise awareness for the Maasai Wilderness Conservation Trust. [E!]
● Elton John’s tour with Billy Joel is being put off after John contracted a case of E. coli and has been ordered by doctors not to perform. [CBC]

● Jon Gosselin’s current girlfriend Hailey Glassman says he’s “emotionally abusive” and throws “mantrums,” although she still loves him and is still with him and don’t worry she knows their relationship is “not normal.” [People]
● 50 Cent declares: “the credit crunch has hit rap.” Need proof? The rapper must sell his old diamonds before he buys new ones. [Telegraph]
● The Catholic League is mad at Larry David’s alter-ego Larry David, who accidentally peed on a painting of Jesus in a recent episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm. He's also Jewish, not that there's anything wrong with that. [Popeater]

Scandal! Duplicity! Maybe-sex! Really all we're missing is a raving Cathy Moriarty from this super-secret tête-à-tête that paparazzi sustenance Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston conducted at the Essex House Hotel. And while details range from few to none, an insider -- quite possibly Iran's President Ahmadinejad, as he was dissed by the hotel a while ago -- noted that the rendezvous lasted an hour and that "She arrived at his hotel suite a matter of hours after they had spoken. Brad was unloading his emotional baggage on Jen, which isn't exactly fair considering their history." Apparently Aniston also wants no part in Brad's split from Angelina. These details are more than enough intel to determine just what possible talking points were inside the Essex on that fateful night.

● Michael Bolton would like you to know that Lady Gaga is straight up “bonkers.” How does Bolton know this? Because the singer, pre-"Poker Face" fame, came to his hotel room to write a song with “only tea cups covering her nipples!” [Showbizspy]
● Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie flashed the rarely seen Vivienne and Knox at a local ice cream shop in Jordan; 14-month-old Vivienne already has her ears pierced. [JustJared]
● Seth MacFarlane is known for his off-color humor on Family Guy, but the funny man didn’t appreciate being the butt of Tina Fey’s "drunk" joke at the Emmys. Saying he was “shocked” and left wondering “Really? You can't find someone who is more recognizable?'” [DigitalSpy]

● Evan Rachel Wood has moved on and up from Marilyn Manson and is currently courting True Blood costar Alexander Skarsgard. The two were snapped enjoying an outdoor festival in Louisiana where Skarsgard is filming a movie. [JustJared]
● Drew Barrymore is throwing a roller-skating party in honor of her directorial debut Whip It; attendees can skate with Barrymore and the cast at Bonaventure Skating Center in Michigan where the film was shot. [AP]
● Rapper Ludacris channeled Oprah over the weekend by giving away 20 free cars to those in need in his hometown of Atlanta. [CNN]

● Renee Zellweger has come out anti-babies, calling motherhood "slavery" and children “little dictators.” Way to separate yourself from Jen Aniston! [CelebGuru]
● Maddox Jolie-Pitt has blessed a Cambodian primary school with laptops thanks to his namesake foundation that mama and papa Brangelina set up. [MJPasia]
● The Michael Jackson postmortem train rolls on; A&E has approved a new reality show following the remaining Jackson brothers around as they cope with Michael’s death. [GlobalGrind]

Imbibe enough with all your serially monogamous BFFs and after your nth dark'n'stormy, you'll become something of a third party oracle. Said besties will come to you with gifts of kiwi and first-borns and while you'll keep the fruits and dismiss the progeny, you'll be able to offer your sage advice. Mostly it's the type you get when you're invited to spend the company of said couple, but then subject to their awkward silences -- silences that are less, "I love you," and more, "Damn, that other chick's hot." And because Brangelina has kept an entire world intoxicated for so long, somehow suspended in the voodoo of their combined perfection, it really was only a matter of time before our constant scrutiny was going to bore a hole through their façade. And now here we are, weathering our own Brangelina hangover, wondering if Jennifer Aniston doing her own little paganistic happy dance, having burned down an effigy of the couple to nothing but a few cinders. But here are a few ways you can tell their relationship is on its last legs and wobbling.