It is a truth universally acknowledged that any pop star in want of a duet with another similar-sounding pop star is just begging for one of the biggest musical disappointments of her career. It's here that we stick our ears to the ground and listen to rumblings that hint at Lady Gaga and Britney Spears teaming up for a duet. Maybe a 21st century take of "The Boy Is Mine"?

● Kourtney Kardashian’s baby daddy Scott Disick sure knows how to treat a pregnant lady. He didn’t lift a finger during her pregnancy, leaving Kourtney to do all the chores right up until she was set to give birth. [Showbizspy]
● Now that the ‘Circus’ tour is over Britney Spears has returned to her off-duty brunette hair color. [JustJared]
● Although they aren’t ‘officially’ back together, Sienna Miller made sure there were champagne and roses waiting for Jude Law at his hotel in Mustique for his 37th birthday. [Mirror]

For a pop star who has made quite the racket drowning us with her own Christmas carols, Britney Spears is set to have a dismal holiday season. A judge has ruled that her father's conservatorship over her is to continue, basically saying, "Brit-Brit ain't mentally fit." It's going to be a sad day of passive aggressively chewing deep-fried turducken at the Spears' household tomorrow.

● Amy Winehouse allegedly punched out a theater manager when he tried to move her after she started cursing at the actors on stage during a production of Cinderella. Is there no place in England that’s Winehouse-safe? [People]
● Alyssa Milano shows the ugly side of beauty, and the influence of Jersey Shore, by Guido-fying herself for our viewing pleasure. [Funny or Die]
● Britney Spears and her team have made a list of the biggest bullsh*t articles about B. Spears in ’09: She was not so poor she once ate squirrels for dinner, she has no intention of opening a bead shop in Venice and she did not request a stripper pole in Dublin. [Britney Spears]

Tiger Woods may be up to his putter in a mistress scandal, but what's most disturbing about this particular case of martial infidelity is that Tiger's wife is a ridiculously attractive Nordic supermodel. Despite this fact, the man still found it necessary to cheat with strange picked up at various bars across the country. Sure, some of the girls in question aren't too shabby either, but was it really worth it? Now, no one here is advocating cheating on wives or significant others, but if you are a celebrity and you do decide to cheat, at least shoot for an upgrade. For example!

Hey, you ever notice that whenever news or gossip about Britney Spears breaks, she's never cited as a source? Not once? Not even a fabricated quote, culled from tweets and bits "onlookers" have offered to media outlets? What's up with that? Anyway, good news from Team Spears as Britney has lived to see her 28th birthday. It was all looking quite sketchy for a minute there, but I suppose most of us, when placed under situations of extreme duress, would run clippers through our weaves, get some serious ink stained on the back of our necks, and wield umbrellas as if we're re-enacting the 1812 War. Yes! Britney's 28th birthday should be made a national holiday and if you're unemployed, maybe you're celebrating it, albeit unknowingly!

● Courtney Love talks about the time Sharon Stone screamed at her in front of Anna Wintour. Oh, memories. [NYMag]
● Miley Cyrus hasn’t seen Twilight -- and doesn’t plan to. “I don’t believe in it. I don’t like vampires ... I don’t want anything to do with it.”[EW]
● Twihards, brace yourselves: Dakota Fanning and Kristen Stewart will lock lips in their next film, The Runaways; according to Fanning, it’s a very passionate kiss. [AccessHollywood]

Seriously? This is still an issue? Has Britney really been duping die-hards Down Under for the past decade or so into thinking that when she moves her lips along to words like "Give me a sign / Hit me baby one more time" and "Well baby, I'm a put-on-a-show kind of girl / Don't like the backseat, gotta be first," she is intoning vocally? I mean, yes it's some of the most evocative verse since they were able to translate Sappho's greatest hits. But Britney, so preoccupied with keeping her dance steps straight, can't be trusted to remember which notes to hit, let alone to recall the actual polysyllabic components which comprise her tunes. Alas, none of these considerations matter to her harshest critics. Snarly critics who are now shilling tickets to the pop broad's Australian dates with starting bids of just over $1.

Who purchases a ticket to see Britney Spears in tour and actually expects her to sing live these days? She's not Miranda Cosgrove, so let's not hold her to unrealistic expectations. Although some assy member of the Australian parliament has. And what a shocker it is, where said member tears Brit-Brit a new one for not bothering to use the god-given gift of singing when she performs in concert. She insists that concert-goers should be made aware at point of purchase, that the concert probably will not be live. Err, people who know Britney know that they're not going into hear Maria Callas or even a slightly post-crack Whitney. Spears hasn't released a tune in over five years that hasn't been autotuned and vocodered within an inch of its life.

● Michael Lohan is suing Perez Hilton so he “stops with the pornographic and the obscene material” on his website…meaning he wants Perez to stop drawing penises on his daughters faces. [Contact Music]
● Angelina Jolie is taking over for Charlize Theron in the film The Tourist where she will play yet another gun-toting bad-ass. This time it’s an Interpol agent who manipulates an American tourist for her own purposes. [Just Jared]
● Britney Spears is really dedicated to staying sober. That’s why she’s insisting on random drug testing for her whole tour crew (all 225 of them) while they are touring Australia. [Herald Sun]