Sixth borough, my ass. Call Philadelphia whatever you want any other time, but this week, in New York, we call them one thing: "Fucked." Because the Yankees have the best team they've had in years, and they're about to win their first World Series since 2000. Granted, it's eight years late, but sometimes we need to play catch-up. For those who will have to tolerate watching the seven games with you -- or watching the Phillies lose in four -- we've come up with some decent alternatives to your average digs you'd watch baseball, for those who might find this a less-than-pleasurable experience. Batter up.

● Macondo (Lower East Side) - Hero to gourmand alkies everywhere, Junior Merino has gone and done it again. His Aguacate and Mescal at Rayuela’s younger, cheaper, funner sis is probably the greatest thing to ever muck up a blender. Creamy fresh avocado, sweet agave nectar, and Scorpion mescal by the frosty, puke-green pitcher.
● Momofuku Noodle Bar (East Village) - The porky ramen bar takes 7-Eleven to school, son, with its watermelon lemonade Soju Slushie. Big gulp a couple and marvel at how all the blond wood is like getting smashed inside somebody’s cool balsa architecture project. Brain freeze!
● Rusty Knot (West Village) - Named after the most disgusting sex act ever, the eponymous frozen mojito is also a kitschy tiki classic. Spotted Pig via Key West is the perfect camped-out cruise -- supplement your plastic cup of rum-n-sugar with a pig in a blanket and sunset over the West Side Highway. Only thing missing is Gavin MacLeod.

● LEVANTeast (Lower East Side) - THOR lobby resto attempts to expand beyond clientele of Euro hotel guests.
● Brooklyn Bowl (Williamsburg) - Rock and bowl will never die.
● Mari Vanna (Gramercy) - Authentic Russian from authentic Russians.