To thoroughly embrace debauchery in Buenos Aires, follow the city's roving parties. Whether it's a clandestine affair that goes on for days or a popular night that keeps getting juggled from club to club, there's always something on that's more interesting than your usual resident DJs or endless bottle service.

● Trashmission - Underground party in themed installments by the folks behind Wicked magazine. Expect a lady DJ from Berlin who actually uses vinyl, one-half of Nexus 6 playing something gloomy, and a whole lot of well-dressed semi-broke artists.
● Kim y Novak Ballroom - The duo who brought you porn stars dancing on tables until 7 in the morning while all the girls, boys, and boys who look like girls stand in line for the bathroom clean up their act a little. This bimonthly, classier version of Kim y Novak has multiple DJs, lots of fierce drag queens, and the added bonus of getting you a spot as an extra in a porno film (not even joking).

Travel + Leisure came out with a rather cool feature on their site this summer, but it's not nearly as cool as it could be. The feature is called the "Airport Navigator," and it has detailed lists of hotspots to check out inside airport terminals -- restaurants, spas, shopping, and things to do. Once you click through the listings, you can see ratings and leave comments. The LA Times pointed out that the site could definitely use maps of the terminals, because as it stands now, there are no visual clues about how to get around to these recommended spots. But really, duh -- the Airport Navigator should be an iPhone app.

Buenos Aires gallery owner Daniela Luna is just as likely to be caught reading The Harvard Business Review as she is to be seen dancing on a pole at six in the morning. She's the outspoken mastermind behind Appetite, where you can't turn a corner without coming face to face with photographs of sizable cocks, or more recently, a gigantic pink inflatable bear with breasts. Some of the city's best DJs have made their debuts at her War Club parties, and with Appetite showing everywhere from Lithuania to London, this international gallery is becoming more than just a downtown destination for the scrappy chic.

● Meraviglia - Brand new organic eatery with top salads, falafels is a fine parrilla alternative.
● Muma's Cupcakes - The final piece of Palermo's surrender to cultural Imperialism comes with tasty frosting on top.

● Chungo Palermo (Palermo Hollywood) - Sharp, brand-new corner outpost of city´s top ice cream shop is soooo yummy it got robbed by hungry thieves the day after it opened.

Don't hate the governor, hate the game! Maria Belen Shapur, the foxy 43-year-old Buenos Aires brunette who enchanted and brought down South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford when he wasn't drivin' the coastline, lives in a posh enclave of BA's vast Palermo neighborhood, nicknamed (by me) Palermo MILF, right in front of the city's zoo and lovely Botanical Gardens. In the 70s and 80s, the neighborhood earned its nickname of Villa Freud for the unusually high concentration of shrinks in the area. In recent years, it's grown even more upscale and attracted a disproportionate share of so-called MILFs. Shapur, by all accounts, has all the trappings of a typical exponent of the neighborhood: she attended posh St. Catherine's Moorlands School in the preppy Belgrano neighborhood, then graduated from the stodgy Universidad Católica Argentina with a degree in (wait for it) International Relations! A marathon-running polyglot divorcee (and mother of two adolescents) who worked for multinational corporation Bunge & Born (or does she?), she speaks not only Mandarin, but several other languages, including fluent English (the better to email philandering American politicians). She would have been right at home in any number of Palermo MILF's elegant cafes. But there's one in particular, around the corner from her expensive apartment on Republica de la India St. where she and Gov. Sanford surely went for a romantic tea.

The dog ate my homework. I did not have sexual relations with that woman. I was driving along the coastline of Argentina. Who among us hasn't used one of these clever excuses when confronted by a displeased teacher, testy Congressional committee, or angry electorate? South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford went AWOL last week and used that last bit about a jaunt along the South American coast to cover for his whereabouts. Allegedly, Sanford chose Buenos Aires as a more "exotic" destination than his first cover story of unreachably hiking the Appalachian Trail. Exotic like that drive along Argentina's exotic coastline. So exotic, in fact, that it was exotic even by Argentine standards. If you look at a map of Argentina, it might seem that there are endless coastal roads, with crashing waves and sandy beaches. But in actuality, the majority of roads run inland and eventually turn off at coastal towns. Maybe he was referring to the few miles of road along the Buenos Aires coastline known as La Costanera, which are dotted with carritos (street meat carts) and a few restaurants. In that case he could have used our handy Buenos Aires guide and dropped by Los Platitos for a steak while he was at it.

● Lotus - Thai fave relocates to gorgeously decorated, lantern-lit house in Chinatown's main strip.
● Tegui - Star chef reaches spectacular new heights in the city's resto of the moment.

Those zany Canadians from Vice magazine infected the murky shores of Buenos Aires' Rio de la Plata last night with an ambitious, four-pronged assault on the sense and sensibilities of the local Argentine peoples. They had some Converse-sponsored skate-themed thing going on nobody I know went to in the afternoon, then some hipster polaroids on display at a gallery in San Telmo, then piggy-backed on a fun party for the opening of Roho Hair Boutique in Palermo, where Argentine pop stars like Soda Stereo frontman Gustavo Cerati (who spun in the back of the salon) and Miranda (who performed from a nearby balcony) get their shaggy locks did.

● Roho Hair Boutique - New Palermo branch of the salon that parties like a rock star and cuts their hair, too.