A wretchedly campy thing trending overseas is Jedward. As Americans, we tend to be suspicious of kitschy gimmicks burgeoning abroad. Maybe too many of us still feel burned by past instances of British kistch. Beats me! It's an instinct that the latest act to spiral into international prominence through X-Factor--Britain's answer to American Idol--will pummel through, eventually garnering anywhere between one and three top ten hits here in a quiet time when Beyoncé and Gaga are both enjoying much-needed sabbaticals. If only because X-Factor alum Leona Lewis has fared so well on both sides of the Atlantic. According to Wikipedia, "are an Irish music act. Known for their distinctive blonde hairstyles and unique performances." A unique performance that doesn't necessarily stir SiCo's loins like Leona could. Comprised of people named John and Edward and totally unrelated to our 2004 Democratic VP candidiate, they've won praise from Jay-Z mentee Cheryl Cole and are finding fast fans in Susan Boyle and The Jonas Brothers. They're already tipped to win the talent show.

• Twihards who don't want to be tasked with stepping on one side of this epic Team Edward-Team Jacob debate can heave a sigh of relief next February, when the Jacob Black doll bows and their collection is complete.[EW]
• Known internationally as the talent show that foisted Leona Lewis on us, UK's X-Factor was graced by a pineapple-donning Calvin Harris who decided to offer us a reprieve during this dreadful Sanjaya-esque moment. [Digital Spy]
• Ahem, Fergie would like more gay love, please. [Queerty]

If you're unaware who Calvin Harris is, you've probably already been cutting a rug to one of his slick mixes. Like his upgrade of Katy Perry's "Waking Up in Vegas" for example. It's also likely that you've caught wind of his recent studio escapades with Jake Shears and Kylie Minogue. So you'd think with all that, plus a #1 album in his homeland, the man who created disco would be stomping around with a god complex. Instead, Harris channels charm and humility when discussing lofty topics like plans for the future and more importantly, the impending apopalypse.

Somewhere around the world, people are freaking out about swine flu again and Kate Gosselin won't shut up. But let's take a deep breath and shake off this stuff of heartbreak. Because in an age when none of us are immune to poverty, disease, and Kate Gosselin, pop music will be saved! Kylie Minogue, Calvin Harris, and the Scissor Sisters' Jake Shears are holed up in a studio today probably working on the one anthem that could undo years of destruction ravaged on this earth by everyone from You-Know-Who to Flo Rida.