● Lindsay Lohan is reportedly failing her court-mandated alcohol education; the course alerted the court she's violating the terms of class. Maybe they saw those photos of her drinking in Paris? [TMZ]
● Paris Hilton’s line of sparkling wine, served in a classy tin can, has bombed, not winning favor with foodies or, really, anyone. [TheSun]
● Blake Lively has revealed she was banned from Disneyland when she was six after trying to con her way into the magical kingdom. [Showbizspy]

Get well soon, Dave. Depeche Mode fans take note: This week, the band is still on hiatus from their global tour due to Dave Gahan’s extreme case of gastroenteritis (complicated by the removal of a tumor). Poor guy. Woe to the legions of fans who anticipated Depeche Mode’s stadium-sized European shows. Dates were cancelled the last few weeks in May when Gahan's illness manifested; however the new cancellations hit this first week in June due to his longer-than-expected recovery. Per a statement from the band, “The Leipzig show on June 8th will be the first concert following Dave's recovery.”

Depeche Mode makes self-destruction sound like falling through the clouds. One needs only revisit the morbid, deviant pleasures of “Master and Servant,” “Fly on the Windscreen,” “Blasphemous Rumours” or “Barrel of a Gun” for a glimpse into the harrowing worldviews of Dave Gahan, Martin Gore and Andrew Fletcher, who have spun a penchant for both futurism and perversion into sales of more than 90 million. Gahan & Co. have spent a career crafting a theater of cruelty for the masses, and if the masses didn’t always quite grasp the concepts—like, why does Gore always seem to be on stage in quasi-bondage gear?—they were lured by the colossal hooks and the seething sexuality, and they devoured it all like piranhas. The Killers, looming large among Depeche Mode’s numerous acolytes, are a peculiar case. Since rocketing to fame with their explosive 2004 debut Hot Fuss, they’ve craftily mated the outré glitz of Duran Duran with the visceral earnestness of U2, all the while reaching for nothing short of the megastardom of both those bands.