It’s hard to stand out in a city populated by naked cowboys, that screeching guy who wears bird feathers and bells in Union Square, and Mike Nelson. But when the ships dock in New York for Fleet Week and its annual Memorial Day celebration, the Coast Guard and Navy mariners dressed head-to-toe in their white, starched uniforms aren’t exactly subtle. That said, a handy how-to on nabbing seamen might be helpful. (Full disclosure: They’re everywhere!)

Happy birthday, Boss! BlackBook executive editor Chris Mohney is a cringeworthy 38 yearsold today! [You're certainly right on the cringing part. -CM] He spends his days supervising the efforts of trained monkeys (fellow blogger Ben Barna and myself), strenuously trying to avoid any events that would call for either of us to be shot dead. After work, Chris goes home to exert influence on The Littlest Mohney to be nothing like us. But we want to take him out to celebrate! So: where do you take your married, with-child 38 year-old boss out for his birthday? Answers after the jump.

Nightlife impresario Dirk Van Stockhom on his new venture at 98 Kenmare Street, being a 13-year-old English playboy, and why Sudan is the new global hotspot.

Where do you go out? I am very much a bar/restaurant guy. I go to Rose Bar ... when I can afford it [laughing]. Milano's on Houston. My favorite place in the whole of New York is the Ear Inn on Spring Street. It is the most classic bar because they don’t give a damn. It is full of regulars and some of the most interesting people. You also do see models and actors, next to regular people. It is no bullshit, great drinks, great food. The owners are two of the nicest people in the world. It is a real community bar. Big supporters of the arts. Don’t tell anyone though, it will spoil it [laughing].

Telling your story from beyond the grave is a bitch. You’ve gotta sign scrolls of release forms, and be put through an infernal vetting process that culminates with a hellish (it’s really the only word I can think of) interview with Beelzebub himself. “We musn’t meddle with the order of things,” he told me. No idea what he meant, but his serpentine voice repulsed me, so I nodded my head and million-dollar-smiled him, and here I am at my old job, in one final performance, to tell you how I lost my life to this shitty economy (and alcohol).

Glimpse the city as it was before fauxhawks, metrosexuality, and that internets thing.

1. The Campbell Apartment at Grand Central (Midtown East) - Former private office hidden in GCT with flapper-clad staff delivering expert shakers.
2. Bemelmans Bar at The Carlyle Hotel (Upper East Side) - Named after Madeline creator Ludwig, whose murals enliven one of Manhattan’s classiest drinking experiences.
3. Ear Inn (Soho) - Geek-boy film crews and UPS workers in their fly brown shorts both agree on super- old, super-dark tavern.

Kinda nutty day, no? So much for bottle service at Cain. Corporate rounds at Tenjune? Forget it. Even a bottle of Pinot Noir at Pastis might be too much to handle for all the financial types who saw their immediate futures evaporate over the weekend. It's no secret that when the nightcrawlers of Wall Street go out, they go big. That won't be the case anymore, but they'll still need to drown their troubles somewhere. New Wall Street landscape means new nightlife landscape. So employees of Lehman Brothers, Merrill Lynch, AIG, and others -- here's some on-the-cheap bars you might want to check out, and some extra-happy happy hours you might want to jot down in that company Blackberry you'll soon be turning over to regulators.

I was shocked to wake up this morning and discover that not everyone loves the Rusty Knot (yes, restaurant news trumps international headlines any day). Since opening in March, the faux-nautical bar has been a shipyard of celebrity cool (Jay-Z and LeBron James are frequenters) and drunken hipsters (because in New York, hipsters have money). My one experience there was during a party for David Schwimmer’s comedy Run Fatboy Run, where I shared cheese balls with Judah Friedlander, who was incredibly stoked about all the free (and delicious) hors d’oeuvres. But not everyone is keen on the Knot.