● Joe Jackson has elected himself the new King of Media and demands Kanye West be banned from all award shows and show business in general; it’s what Michael would have wanted. [PopCrunch]
● Barack Obama called Kanye West a "jackass" for his Taylor Swift stunt during a (not so) off-the-record interview with CNBC on Monday. [HuffingtonPost]
● Matt Damon will play Michael Douglas’ lover in the Steven Soderbergh-directed Liberace biopic. This is not a joke. [USAToday]

● Now that Star magazine won’t have her, Kate Major (a.k.a. Kate 2.0) has run to E! to tell us she was deceived by Jon Gosselin, saying he planned to be with her, not Hailey Glassman. [E!]
● Jeremy Piven once again proves he can’t take a joke by getting into a fight with Chris Kattan (yes, Mango) over the former's sushi-mercury poisoning thing. [Gatecrasher]
● Miley Cyrus has jumped onto the Robert Pattinson bandwagon, admitting she now sees his appeal after meeting him at the Teen Choice Awards. [Examiner]

Even when not stalking Robert Pattinson or being Ryan Adams, our trusty interns remain vigilant. Early this morning, we received a tip that went straight to the BlackBook Red Phone: the cast of Gossip Girl was shooting on location at Japonais, two blocks from our office. I quickly dispatched our elite squad of hardworking, perpetually awesome BlackBook interns on a mission: locate the cast of Gossip Girl. Document them with your high-tech image capture devices. Extend a copy of our tangible paper product visible in the frame. Finally, exfiltrate from the hot zone and return safely to HQ. Did they succeed?

● Angelina Jolie will grace the cover of July Harper’s Bazaar, but the actress has nothing to promote; she isn’t even interviewed for the magazine. Rather, feminist writer Naomi Wolf will explain why so many woman would go gay for Jolie. [US]
● Ed Westwick -- more commonly known as Chuck Bass -- would like you to stop calling him "fat." He’s practically svelte. [E!]
● Miley Cyrus isn’t attracting the same crowds as in the past; thousands were expected to show up for the casting of her latest film, but less than ten showed up. [WTOCTV]

Because moviemakers the world over have mauled, mutilated, and basically wrung every last drop of integrity from Jane Austen's repertoire dry, it's nice to see them turning their beady eyes on another classic novelstress, and preying on her life's work for sustenance instead. And in such a survey, it's natural for one's gaze to turn to the Brontë sisters. More specifically, to Emily Brontë's Wuthering Heights. A filmic adaptation of the novel has cast, of all people, Gossip Girl's Chuck Bass, as its lead.

● Peaches Geldof would like Ed Westwick to know he’s no Pete Doherty. She says of the Gossip Girl star that he acts like “English guy with a poet soul and it doesn't really work.” [NYM]
● By now we’ve all seen the Lilo Fornarina ad where she does her best Small Wonder impression; the director has defended the ad by saying we just don’t get his subtle homage to Serge Gainsbourg and Brigitte Bardot. Huh? [WWD]
● Meghan McCain, as in John McCain’s daughter, was seen having lunch with Tila Tequila. What did they talk about? Evidently everything from politics to pop culture. [US]

● The revamped Melrose Place, which counts Ashlee Simpson-Wentz as a resident, will be Heather Locklear-less. The actress who played Amanda Woodward has turned down the chance to appear on the CW show. [EW]
● Crispin Glover has lent his voice to the children’s favorite Little Miss Muffet. The results are as creepy as you would expect. [Youtube]
● Are you ready for CloFu? That’s George Clooney-flavored tofu! PETA seems to think it’s a great idea! [NBC]

Chalk it up to "new nostalgia" or supermodels making a comeback, but the fashion industry’s MILF fixation is in full effect. Earlier this week, Madonna made headlines yet again thanks to a steamy new Steven Klein-photographed W spread that features the Material Mom in a lavish, light-filled Brazilian home, flanked by a handful of gorgeous twenty-something, half-naked Brazilian boys. In a biblically confusing series of events, adding fuel to the press-storm is the fact that one of the male models in question, Jesus Luz, has become Madonna’s real life companion.

This one ain't saved by the belle. Richard Kelly's Donnie Darko—the best movie in the history of the moving image—has been given a sequel. The Chris Fisher follow-up has Razzie written all over its cellar door. It's being directed by someone whose previous credits include a piece of Cuba Gooding Jr. offal and an episode of NBC's "Chuck." It stars Ed Westwick from "Gossip Girl," which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but probably is. And now, news came today that feminist turned stripper Elizabeth Berkley will be joining the cast. EW.com reports, not without intimations of snark, that "Berkley just finished a stint on 'CSI: Miami' and wrapped filming on The Butlers in Love, which is directed by David Arquette." Pass the golden popcorn.