It's understandable: Some hack flack somewhere was so giddy about Heath Ledger's Golden Globe and SAG nods that they probably ran his/her mouth at a pub somewhere. Then a nearby drunk reporter cobbled together this bit of tattle from his hearsay for UK tabloid The Sun about Christopher Nolan's third installment of Batman. In said report, all the major roles of Gotham, as it's apparently titled, are outlined, with even a teaser as to how the film might or might not end. Excellent reporting, Sun! Here are a few reasons why, aside from Christian Bale and Michael Caine, this cast list is phonier than Katie Holmes' portrayal of Rachel Dawes.

If you’re an action star from the '80s, the thing to do is dip back into the decade of decadence and bring your most celebrated character into the 21st century to kick some ass, senior citizen style. Stallone did it. Harrison Ford just did it. And now Eddie Murphy is doing it.