I didn't go to the Yankees parade today, because as much of a fan as I am, the kind that go to parades are the kind of sports fans I try to avoid in general: people who can get out of work on a Friday and be shitfaced before I even wake up. Well, these were the people who got to watch Yankee mascot Jay-Z perform "Empire State of Mind" for Mayor Bloomberg, the World Series-winning Yankees, and the thousands of drunk people who descended on downtown New York, from the Battery to City Hall, to scream at their favorite team, centaurs and all. Video after the jump. The image of Jay-Z rapping in front of City Hall? Priceless.

Behold, awesomeness: New York's culinary Dread Pirate Ship Momofuku and its enfant terrible captain, the notorious David Chang, is hitting the road. Chang's blogging a book tour with his cookbook co-author (and my pick for the New York Times food critic position, eventually filled by Sam Sifton), one Mr. Peter Meehan. It reads somewhere between Hunter S. Thompson, Anthony Bourdain, and the first 20 pages of Bret Easton Ellis' Lunar Park, in which Ellis (the character) ends up being dragged out of one book tour appearance, screaming "THE JEW BOY'S COMING WITH ME!" I have high hopes for this kind of writing, and their first entry does not disappoint. It's as ridiculous, debaucherous, and mouthwatering as you'd expect it to be. Key parts:

2012 is Roland Emmerich's big destruction epic where after Independence Day, The Day After Tomorrow, Godzilla, and Stargate, he basically threw up his hands, said "fuckit, bring on The Four Horsemen and kill 'em all." Which he tried to do in his other movies, but they weren't "Kill 'Em All" enough, so he decided to make 2012, the selling point of which is the world is definitely going to end, there's no question that it won't, it's just a matter of why and how and how we're going to kill them and who we're going to kill, and let's do this shit. And after we do that shit, you know the world lives, because we're gonna make a goddamned TV show about 2013. As a fan of the End of the World genre, and as someone who counts the epic genius of Independence Day as a Great American Movie, I can no longer stand by and allow Roland Emmerich to cash in on making shit movies anymore. From the tyranny of bad End of the World moviemaking, today is our Independence Day. Here's your 2012 spoiler.

Jeter, A-Rod, CC Sabathia, and (hip hip) Jorge Posada celebrated at 1Oak last night. Here's video of Jeter and Sabathia poppin' bottles. You can too, if you win the World Series. So now you know who parties at 1Oak. The Yankees. That's me to the very left, making out with Kate Hudson. Kidding, A-Rod! She can have the Centaur. I spent last night blacking out at the Cherry Tavern. A home run for everybody. L'chayim! More video after the jump.

James Gandolfini was out trick-or-treating with his kids at boutique shops when a Guest of a Guest photographer -- who has since remained anonymous -- was videoing him doing so. Gandolfini rushed over and gave the photographer a piece of his mind! God, you guys, blogging is so dangerous, amirite? Video after the jump.

No Doubt did the same stupid thing Nirvana's people did when they signed up their songs and likeness to be in the latest installment of Guitar Hero (Band Hero). Naturally, players are allowed to take the avatars of Gwen Stefani and Co. and make them sing songs they probably never want to sing, ever. Like "Everything Zen." Naturally, the band or the band's people were too stupid to realize this, and now, they're suing the stupid people behind Band Hero. How pissed are they? Pissed! After all, the makers of Band Hero are now responsible for breaking No Doubt up.

Pitchfork not the review you can come to expect from Pitchfork, it still falls short of where it should be; Dave Grohl and Co. deserve more from Pitchfork, and yes, they deserve some rest. The Foo Fighters aren't a band I listen to often. They're not innovative, they're not groundbreaking, and they've been pretty much doing the same thing for the last four albums. But the Foo Fighters are a great band, a great band for right now, and a great band to embrace as great. Here's why.

While Sufjan Stevens is busy trying to figure out what the hell to do with all those incredible, awesome, too-long-for-some-people-but-really-well-worth-the-wait few pieces of new material, we're stuck with nothing! BQE's orchestrations are nice twee background music if you're on a particularly light trip of mushrooms, but other than that, we need our fix, Soof. Well, we got it -- the Sufjan finally got mixed up with some hip hop. How is it?

Dear Phillies, Philly Fans, and the Rest of Yankee-Hating America,

Remember the face you all made when listening to Jigga The Greek the night of Game 2? You probably don't, because -- like the Phillies -- you were probably enjoying Jay-Z's World Series performance of "Empire State of Mind." Despite your lame, predictable, populist leanings -- and yes, being a Phillies bandwagon fan right now is almost as bad as being a Red Sox bandwagon fan, ever -- you can’t resist a good time. Which we will show you. As we beat you. Which we're about to do. Thanks to Jay-Z.

And it's out of the gate: Chef April Bloomfield and restaurateur Ken Friedman -- the team behind perpetual West Village hotspot The Spotted Pig, and recently deceased seafood destination The John Dory -- have opened up shop in the Ace Hotel with The Breslin Bar. After plenty of delays, the place is now serving breakfast and lunch as of today. After the jump: the lowdown on lunch service, menus, sightings, and a run-in with Mr. Friedman himself.