Last week, Lexus and Fairmont flew me to San Francisco to check in and check out their new Lexus Hybrid Living Suite. A handful of 'green' journalists were invited. So, the question remains, what in the hell was I doing there?

Full disclosure. I don't have my license, I don't recycle, and I've smoked more cigarettes than my lungs care to remember. Also, I'm scared of vegetarians, vegans, Bob Dole, people interested in the environment, people who use the word "green," Leonardo DiCaprio, Vanity Fair's "Green Issue," farmers markets, and fresh produce in general. These are just a few of my shortcomings, which is why it struck me as odd when I was asked to explore the new eco-friendly Lexus Hybrid Living Suite on the 10th floor of San Francisco's legendary Fairmont hotel.

Presidential hopeful Hillary Clinton was staying at the palatial inn, as were her Secret Service henchmen and killer canines, who frightened me for altogether different reasons. The President of El Salvador had just checked in, and was met with protesters brandishing placards of Spanish rhetoric and political venom. Had they heard about my refusal to compost?