● In Michael Lohan’s guesstimation, Lindsay Lohan has a week, or a month, or a year to live and needs to be in a long-term rehab, lest she wind up like Heath Ledger, who Michael would like you to know was very close to Lilo. [NYDailyNews]
● Lady Gaga’s ninth tattoo will be a dedication to her father, who lived through open-heart surgery. Fittingly, Gaga plans to get a heart with the word "Dad" inside of it. [ContactMusic]
● Natalie Portman defends her vegetarianism by comparing eating meat to rape. [Celebrity-Gossip]

All right, I'll admit it, I'm a huge Harry Potter fan. And I couldn't be more tickled that the oh-so popular wizard boy is getting his own theme park down in Orlando. Some enterprising Potter fans have unearthed the patents for some of the names of the restaurants, rides, and shops inside The Wizarding World of Harry Potter. The park will most likely be aimed at youngsters, but with Academy Award winner Stuart Craig on staff -- he's designed all the sets for film series so far -- it might be a cool place to check out. Though Universal Studios is determined to keep much of the plans secret before the opening in 2010, industrious Potterphiles have cracked some of mysteries behind the scenes. The most intriguing find: The large ride under construction at the back of the Florida theme park will be called Harry Potter and the Forbidden Journey. Universal Studios describes the ride as a state-of-the-art attraction that will “bring the magic, characters and stories of Harry Potter to life.” Two other existing rides will be re-themed to fit into the Wizarding World:

Wheeeeee, publicity! With the sixth Harry Potter flick quickly approaching, stars Emma Watson and Daniel Radcliffe, one-half of the fearless duo are making use of their Ivy League-caliber smarts and working that Robert Pattinson angle into the ground to get tongues wagging and hearts palpitating for Harry Potter & the Half-Blood Prince. But their fixation on the sparkly fanged one isn't totally arbitrary.

Now that Twilight mania has mutated into ugly backlash, we can get back to freaking over the real fantasy novel-cum-movie franchise phenomenon known as Harry Potter. 'Member him? Starting April 30, the Chicago Museum of Science and Industry is going to lure droves of people who normally would never ever go to the Museum of Science and Industry with Harry Potter: The Exhibition. Peer at sets and artifacts from the films, including Daniel Radcliffe, floating in a tank of formaldehyde. Tickets go on sale today!

From September 25 to February 8, composers of Harry Potter erotic fan fiction will have the incredible opportunity to infuse their descriptive writing with unparalleled realism. That’s because Harry himself is coming to Broadway, with broomstick on full display. Actor Daniel Radcliffe is reprising his role as a disturbed stable boy in Peter Shaffer’s Tony-award winning play Equus, which made waves in London not only for Radcliffe’s acclaimed performance, but for the then-underage star's full onstage nudity. Previews begin September 5 at the Broadhurst Theatre. Radcliffe will be performing when Harry Potter and The Half-Blood Prince is released on November 2, meaning his wand will cast a spell over this fair city.