We all knew that something like this would happen once Hillary Clinton got promoted and hopped on the Chinatown express bus to DC. Leave it to Fran Drescher, the star of Razzie-nominated tour-de-farces like The Beautician and the Beast, to be the first (and the loudest) candidate in what will probably be a frenzied race for Hillary's vacated Senate seat. Drescher's smart, though. She announced her bid yesterday, catching would-be objectors off-guard.

Of course there was bound to some scandal as our dashing President-Elect assembled his White House dream team. This morning, as Barack Obama named the equally dashing Hillary Clinton as his Secretary of State, her husband (and our 42nd President) was MIA. But in all fairness, his absence was announced nearly an hour in advance of his wife's nomination, and he already vouched for her well before. Whether he was missing because he had gone through this whole dog-and-pony show before, or because he was out shopping for a marked-down recession-friendly Christmas gift remains to be seen.

Radar first posted this ebullient video of Chilean drag queen Pequeña Hillary Clinton flipping the bird to America, Magic Johnson, and the Rockefellers. And, (s)he's in an empty bathtub! Priceless (and Not so SFW).

We just saw this video of presidential hopeful Hillary Clinton breaking down over at Radar, and were instantly brought back to Larry King's dance lesson, courtesy of Janet Jackson, which is posted after the jump. Who shimmies better? It's like having to pick favorites between Battlefield Earth and Gigli.

To word-watchers, this May 1 blog comment is a sign of the times:

Schadenfreude: satisfaction or pleasure felt at someone else’s misfortune.
Clintonfreude: satisfaction or pleasure felt at Hillary’s comeuppance.

Then again, Hillaryfreude may better name your sadistic joy at the death throes of the former First Lady’s campaign—unless your heart is filled with Obamafreude, over the Illinois Senator’s protracted preacher problems. Or maybe you’re bathing in Spitzenfreude, Shaqenfreude, or Spearsenfreude, as you luxuriate in the declining fortunes of Eliot Spitzer, Shaquille O’Neal, or Britney Spears.

Barack Obama just got a little cooler and Hillary Clinton just got a tad hotter. Today, the Democratic presidential hopefuls received some of the best news of their lives, political and non, because winning primaries has got nothing on this: they’re related to Brangelina. After three years of family-tree climbing, the New England Historic Genealogical Society has discovered that Brad and Barack are ninth cousins, linked by Edwin Hickman, who died in Virginia in 1769, while Hillary and Angelina are ninth cousins, twice removed, connected by Jean Cusson who died in Quebec in 1718.