● Maybe the plethora of "Lonely Jen" stories stem from the fact that Jennifer Aniston hates to date; she says dating “sucks,” she doesn’t “understand it,” and the experience is just “bizarre.” [JustJared]
● Saturday Night Live has dumped Casey Wilson from the cast, reportedly because she refused to drop 1 pound of the 30 the show demanded she lose over summer break. [E!]
● Megan Fox says that, unlike other Hollywood bimbos, you’ll (sadly) never see her naked in a leaked sex tape. Fox says one glance at herself naked would ensure she’d never have sex again. [Us]

● Hugh Hefner offered Kate Gosselin $400K to flaunt her post-eight-babies bod for Playboy; thankfully, Gosselin turned the offer down. [NYDailyNews]
● Add Paul McCartney to the list of people who want the Beatles catalog on iTunes. McCartney blames EMI for the delay. [NME]
● Did you hear the awesome news that Kristen Wiig is joining Seth Meyers on Weekend Update? Well, don’t get too excited, ‘cause it’s not happening. Meyers will report the faux-news all by his lonesome this season. [EW]

● The Paris Hilton hotel is open for business again as the socialite has dumped boyfriend Doug Reinhardt; too bad he wasn’t made aware of that fact before it went to press. [E!]
● David Letterman is in hot water after making "cruel and unusual" jokes about Sarah Palin’s daughter Bristol, cracking that she was “knocked up” by Yankees player Alex Rodriguez during a game. [FoxNews]
● Megan Fox is said to be picking up where Sarah Michelle Gellar left off in the role of Buffy for the upcoming Joss Whedon-less Buffy the Vampire Slayer film adaptation. [IGN]

● Gwyneth Paltrow asked Two Lovers director James Gray to check out her boobs and OK them for a nude scene, as the mother of two didn’t think they were up to par. He approved. [DListed]
● Penélope Cruz is currently in Cannes, but she missed out on promoting her upcoming musical Nine when she came down with food poisoning. [People]
● Fergie joins the ranks of Lilo, Lady Gaga, and Megan Fox after admitting she too has had a lesbian affair. [thesun.co.uk]

● Hugh Hefner confirms that Heidi Montag-Pratt will probably be posing nude for Playboy and getting the Aubrey O’Day treatment, which is $500K for an eight-page spread. [Hollyscoop]
● Who was the worst dressed at the MET Gala last night? Leighton Meester's Gothic Little Bow Peep outfit? Madonna’s Pom-Pom Dominatrix look? Or Jessica Biel’s 80’s Bridesmaid Couture? [JustJared]
● Feel like you went to a Madonna concert with this preview of "Vogue" from the "Sticky and Sweet" Tour DVD. [Youtube]

● It seems like this year’s Oscars will be more like the Tonys. The Hugh Jackman-hosted affair is set to have a huge musical number with Beyoncé, Zac Efron,Vanessa Hudgens, and Amanda Seyfried, directed by none other than Baz Luhrmann. [E!]
● It’s safe to say if Mickey Rourke wins the Oscar (and if I were a betting woman, I would say he will), he'll dedicate the award to his dog Loki, who has died at the age of 18. [TMZ]
● What does super-designer Marc Jacobs wear to lunch? A skirt, Doc Martens, and a Birkin of course. [FadedYouth]

● What does fashion pundit Peaches Geldof have to say about Posh Spice? She must be uncomfortable! [TheSun]
● Brad Pitt will grace the cover of February’s W mag for their A-List issue, just three months after his family appeared in their November issue. [JustJared]
● Hugh Hefner is back to having three girlfriends; their combined ages are still two decades younger them Hef himself. [UsWeekly]

Professional matchmaker Amy Laurent offers advice for Hollywood's confirmed bachelors and those recently in the doghouse.

What's in store for Guy Ritchie?
Well, he was always Mr. Madonna, but he has in his own accomplishments. He needs to date someone less famous. He's been seeing actress Kelly Riley, who is great because she's not such a superstar. I really like him with Padma Lakshmi from Top Chef. She's divorced from Salman Rushdie and definitely doesn't need to be with another writer. And look, I hate to promote adultery, but I kind of like Madonna with A-Rod.

Yeah, it's pretty hot.
They are both huge, but in different industries. Plus physically I always pictured her with a darker guy.