Unless you're one of the seven people in this country currently employed full-time and therefore far away from a television set, you've probably been lounging around your apartment during the day, desultory and shiftless. Busying about in your housecoat with curlers in your hair, day-drinking lukewarm zinfandel, smoking clove cigarettes, and peripherally watching your stories, you've got the makings of a 21st century Edie Beale. You may even take a little time out to periodically prod the cat with a yard stick to get her to stop mewling. That is until yesterday. Yesterday presented a glimpse of Franco on General Hospital. That's when you busted out the catnip. So you could have a 60-minute slice of you-and-James Franco special alone time. Perhaps you even opted to heckle your TV when the camera panned away to the blonde. After a bombastic debut, the actor's reasoning for coming onto the soap suddenly seems unimportant. His arc on the soap means that you can stop feeling bad about being a shut-in and can stop seeking out more enriching pursuits. Sometimes, it's enriching enough to simply support the arts. Franco's first few moments on GH after the break.

No one's entirely sure why James Franco would deign to grace daytime television through a two-month arc on General Hospital. More frustratingly, he remained rather tight-lipped when discussing his motives for his recent penchant for the small-screen with NYMag's Vulture. And finally, a teaser has been made available of his GH arc which promises chills, thrills, and endless moments of ham-handed acting. Moving us to ask, "Why, James Franco, why?"

Performance artist James Franco continues to take any work that comes his way. Sources informed EW that he will guest-star on an upcoming episode of 30 Rock after he dies and comes back to life on General Hospital this November. The show (widely regarded as this generation’s Arrested Development) and its network representatives have declined to comment, but Franco is to be said to shooting the episode this week and at this very moment is RIGHT BEHIND YOU drinking a kind of tea that you have never heard of.

● It’s not April Fool's Day, so I have to assume that James Franco joining the cast of General Hospital is not a joke. [EW]
● There might be a Ramones bio-pic in the works based on the upcoming memoir I Slept With Joey Ramone, written by Joey’s brother. And here’s five reasons why this movie shouldn’t be made. [Billboard, Spin]
● Lady Gaga and Kanye West have cancelled their “Fame Kills” tour, presumably because they took the title of their tour to heart. [AP]

The oh-so-popular book of Elizabeth Gilbert's spiritual adventure through Italy, India, and Indonesia is becoming a movie. The true story begins when Gilbert, a 32-year old accomplished author living in New York, ends up talking to God as she freaks out in her bathroom over her decaying marriage. The marriage ends, the relationship she rebounds with crumbles, and she's left with a gaping depression and a quest for fulfillment. Lucky for her, her publishing house hands her an advance to work her angst out in a book, and she heads off for four month in each of the title countries -- Italy for "Eat," India for "Pray," and Indonesia for "Love."

More on what we briefly noted: Because the creative drought in Hollywood isn't letting up anytime soon, what better time than the present to roll out yet another musician's biopic? Since we've already dispensed with the obligatory Elvis Presley and Johnny Cash flicks and aren't quite ready for a look into Freddie Mercury's life, why not settle on the man who gave capable and unfortunate musicians alike a chance to sing their own "Hallelujah"s?

● Jeff Buckley fans will not only be horrified to learn that there is a biopic in the works, but that Jared Leto, James Franco, and Robert Pattinson are all in the running to play the late singer. [Exclaim]
● Peaches Geldof, 20-year-old divorcee and party girl, says she’s a better role model than Disney mascot Miley Cyrus. [TheSun]
● Megan Fox is all for the legalization of marijuana and doesn’t appreciate that people think she’s a “crazy hippie” for smoking a doobie once in awhile. [KansasCity]

"It's time to bring it, Kara," I say to the radiant Kara Walker, who needs no prodding, as we freak across the dance floor together on the 45th story of a building overlooking Ground Zero, her metallic silver vest and long black gown flowing from side to side. This isn't exactly where one might expect to find the award-winning art legend. She is flanked on all sides by drag queens in furry fleshtones and assless gear. Nearby, James Franco chats with abstract artist Mark Bradford, while Debbie Harry, the words "Art Sells" displayed across her chest, shares a (probably dirty) joke with filmmaker John Waters, who hosted last night's New Museum Spring (Un)Gala.

Or so one would think, based on his multifaceted performance in artist Carter's newest theatrical opus Erased James Franco, which debuted last Monday at the Museum of Modern Art, as part of their Modern Mondays series. Not only was his name an integral part of the title, but Franco also acted out every role.

On many nights, my friends and I while away the hours with bottles of red wine, deliberating the merits of our MFA degrees -- whether they make for better toilet paper or cigarette paper. And how much money could we get if we were to recycle them. Also, if we should fashion a flock of large origami swans out of them. The jury remains undecided on all of these critical issues. But thanks to James Franco's A-list standing pursuit of a MFA degree, our fortunes may be turning around. We may be able to redeem our degrees for one published book apiece and, in turn, garner a reputation as credible writers. Suck it, Lauren Conrad!