Cultural zeitgeist/womb Jamie-Lynn Spears reportedly gave birth to a baby girl at 8:30 this morning. Hope the c-section went smoothly, James! The funnier part—what's better than a 17-year-old "star" rocking a baby, you ask—is the URL for The National Enquirer's reportorial "exclusive": nationalenquirer.com/_jamie_lynn_csec_crisis/celebrity. Are they seducing themselves, along with the rest of middling America, with catchy headlines? Celebrity! Crisis! Um, we read the story, and it does nothing more than suggest Spears had a baby. At 8:30. In Mississippi. Crisis! In other news, "240 lb. Kirstie Collapses!"