Opening Ceremony seems to be getting in touch its inner cinephile. In just this past week the retailer has launched two distinctive cinematic endeavors. One, which debuted just last week in conjunction with the opening of Opening Ceremony's new Shibuya, Tokyo boutique, revolves around Chloë Sevigny's collection for OC. Definitely more in sync with avant-garde cinema than anything Blockbuster would stock, the short film, directed by Joe Danada, includes narration in Japanese (subtitles are in English) courtesy of an absentee robotic voice, as well as disjointed shots of Sevigny getting dressed and anonymous hands assembling some sort of abstract collage.

● There is no god, because if there was, Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami would not average more viewers than Mad Men and bring E! its highest ratings since 2002. [TVbytheNumbers]
● Despite their romance and Spanish vacation getting splashed all over the tabloids, Bradley Cooper would rather not have you know he’s dating Renee Zellweger. [HollywoodCrush]
● Robert Pattinson considers himself single, meaning there’s hope for all those Twilight fans that want to be his Bella. [SocialliteLife]

The trailer for Bored to Death is here, you guys. Sorry, Videogum says that all the time and I just wanted to see how it feels. Anyway, HBO's Bored to Death stars Jason Schwartzman as a Brooklyn writer who procrastinates by stalking the streets as private investigator. We took out our magnifying glass to help examine the 40-second clip for five clues as to what this series will actually be like. The fact that we only came up with three proves just how hard being a detective actually is.

Last year was all about death. Be it physical (R.I.P Bettie Page, Eartha Kitt, and Radar) or metaphorical (Joaquin Phoenix's acting career), America's social conscience resembled the cratered ruins of ancient Rome. But a few celebrities -- Barack Obama, say -- inspired hope through revival. This leaves the better part of 2009 for us to learn how to cope with the state of things from their examples, making this year all about Darwinism. Survival tips after the jump!

Hey Joaquin! If you still need notes on how to make that leap from the silver screen to the recording booth gracefully, get a memo from Jason Schwartzman (ask for tips on humility too). Proving that you don't have to abandon one passion for another, Schwartzman has released a pithy new single through Coconut Records. Established just a couple years ago, Coconut Records is what Schwartzman calls his musical side project. In fact, he already has an album out, and another one's imminent. Entitled "Microphone," the single doesn't count originality or Perez Hilton's endorsement among its virtues. But that's not to say it sucks.

Television is ideally seen as a launching pad for by actors en route to film career. Look at what ER did for George Clooney, what Friends did for Jennifer Aniston, or what The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air did for Tatyana Ali. But recently, there’s been a wave of film stars retreating to the small screen, often to critical acclaim and ratings success. Take Martin Sheen in The West Wing, Glenn Close in Damages, and Holly Hunter in Saving Grace, as recent examples. Now, Coppola clan member Jason Schwartzman is taking a shot at serialization with a new HBO comedy pilot called Bored to Death.