● Lindsay Lohan doesn’t pay for drinks, okay?! After grabbing and downing two bottles of expensive champagne at Crown Bar, Lohan promptly had a hissy fit when the bartender gave her the bill. [People]
● Paris Hilton is mad at Kim Kardashian and her sisters for biting the dubious fame hand that feeds and becoming more famous than her. [P6]
● Don’t mess with Courtney Cox when it comes to a ham and cheese sandwich. Turns out Ms. Cox is quite the terror on the set of Cougar Town, humiliating a crew member for not preparing the sandwich with equal parts ham and cheese. [PopCrunch]

● In light of infidelity claims, Fergie says in this month’s Cosmo that husband Josh Duhamel loved the extra weight she put on for her role in Nine. [Us]
● Levi Johnston is steaming mad at Conan O’Brien -- or at least his manager is -- over the William Shatner sketch mocking Johnston and his supposed Twitter account, claiming they will sue if the show doesn’t retract the sketch. [TMZ]
● Busy Phillips called out Chad Michael Murray as a “douche" at the Paley Center event for Dawson's Creek, adding that “she’s not worried about burning bridges with CMM." [zap2it]

Khloe Kardashian is a person too. I was never a believer before, but with all the negative press swirling like so much sad organza around KK’s Sunday marriage to Laker Lamar Odom, I have come to realize it’s true. Here’s how: sisterhood sucks. It’s hard enough feigning a non-competitive, entirely supportive “friendship” with another female. But if you two share DNA? Girl please. It’s like looking in her face and seeing your every flaw. Or worse, a constant reminder of what you could have been and she is, every day. Kim obviously made out like a bandit with the genetic goodies in this family. And in soap opera wet dream fashion, Kourtney’s managed to get herself knocked up with some greaseball’s unwanted bundle of joy. Poor, unfortunate Khloe. What’s a baby sis to do but prey on unsuspecting Lakers with promises of reality TV nuptials within 30 days? She had no choice. Also, Lamar: gotcha!

● Did you hear Lamar Odom and Khloe Kardashian aren’t really married? Oh wait, yeah they are. [TMZ, People]
● Speaking of the wedded couple, OK! isn’t too happy with them after having to fork over an additional $50,000 (on top of their $250,000 for exclusive wedding photos) in order to buy back the paparazzi shots of the couple. [NYPost]
● It only took one day for the "Free Roman Polanski" backlash to happen; although filmmakers like Woody Allen, David Lynch, and Martin Scorsese are for his release, French director Luc Besson and the Polish Prime Minister think that the man who made Chinatown isn’t above the law. [Timesonline]

Khloe Kardashian has always been a hot topic for makeup junkies -- perhaps because she wears so much of it without looking like a complete tranny. A lot of her tricks are from the magic beauty bag of artist Troy Jensen, spanning from "Glowy Khloe" to the "Smoke Queen." While the majority of tabloid addicts revel in getting a look at Khloe and Lamar Odom's wedding photos and the $300K price tag attached to them, and gossips are favoring the taped testimonial of Odom ex Lara Manoukian, makeup fiends are busy taking bets on what kind of face Khloe put on for her big day.

● Is Courtney Love angling to be Mrs. Hugo Chavez? The singer was certainly impressed by the charm he turned on at the premiere for Oliver Stone's documentary about the Venezuelan president. [NYDailyNews]
● The helicopters present at Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom’s wedding disrupted actor Danny DeVito’s quiet Sunday night, and he let everyone in the Twitterverse know. [Twitter]
● Speaking of: It should come as no surprise that there was a “Hollywood nightclub” theme to Khloe and Lamar’s wedding reception. No word on if Lindsay Lohan was there to give it an "authentic" club feel. [People]

● Despite what Perez Hilton reported via his Twitter, Jaclyn Smith of Charlie’s Angels fame did not try to kill herself in Honduras. [Twitter, ET]
● Khloe Kardashian may or may not be getting married to Lamar Odom this weekend, but at least her mom Kris approves, saying quickie weddings are “romantic,” and adding that’s how she and Bruce Jenner did it. [Us]
● Kevin Federline is finally going to do something about that K-Fat moniker by joining his first baby mama, Shar Jackson, on Celebrity Fit Club. [TMZ]

● There is no god, because if there was, Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami would not average more viewers than Mad Men and bring E! its highest ratings since 2002. [TVbytheNumbers]
● Despite their romance and Spanish vacation getting splashed all over the tabloids, Bradley Cooper would rather not have you know he’s dating Renee Zellweger. [HollywoodCrush]
● Robert Pattinson considers himself single, meaning there’s hope for all those Twilight fans that want to be his Bella. [SocialliteLife]

● After nonstop tabloid coverage, Jon and Kate Plus Eight are back on the air from their self-imposed hiatus. [Us]
● Now that Amy Winehouse and Blake Fielder-Civil are dunzo, let’s take a look at their recently released private wedding album. [MrPaparazzi]
● Rumors that Vanessa Hudgens has banned BF Zac Efron from seeing Megan Fox are false; Hudgens is just (understandably) terrified that Megan Fox is going to steal her man. [Showbizspy]

● The Miss California Organization has a vested interest in their candidate winning; that’s why they paid for Carrie Prejean to get a new pair of boobs six weeks before the Miss USA pageant. [PopCrunch]
● Dita Von Teese has taken a lover. The burlesque beauty is seeing the Count Louis-Marie de Castelbajac's son, fashion designer Jean-Charles de Castelbajac, who happens to be 11 years her junior. [Celebuzz]
● Natalie Portman has taken a stand against celebrity endorsements. The actress says she doesn’t believe in supporting something you don’t believe in, like make-up for instance. [FemaleFirst]