● Howard Stern is in talks with American Idol producers to replace judge Simon Cowell, which would add "Are they real?" to the challenges facing contestants. [Page Six]
● Kristen Stewart had jury duty, landing a case in which a man solicited an undercover cop for sex, allowing TMZ to use the headline: "Kristen Stewart -- Key Player in Prostitution Case." [TMZ]
● A book deal is imminent for Hipster Puppies -- available at Urban Outfitters or anywhere useless books are sold. [Tumblr]

Making the cover of Vanity Fair's annual Hollywood Issue has become a rite of passage for established movie stars and movie stars in-the-making. Traditionally they'll round up a group of Hollywood's youngest, most respected actresses to pose for an Annie Leibowitz-shot spread that automatically anoints them as chosen ones. But this year's cover, featuring no-brainers like Amanda Seyfried and Abbie Cornish, raises some questions. (Besides, why is Emma Stone there again, having made no progress since the last time? And since when is Evan Rachel Wood new?) Mostly, where in the hell is Gabourey Sidibe?

While discussion of hazing may bring to mind images of drunken fraternity boys dousing each other in warm liquor, forcing their underlings to attend social events in degrading costumes, performing weird homo-erotic hell week rituals and drinking beer for breakfast, it turns out, chicks are into hazing as well. The Rutgers chapter of Sigma Gamma Rho sorority recruited a few too many bullies in recent years and these unrefined broads unleashed their hostility on this year’s pledge class. One victim of the abuse claims that she was paddled 201 times by her ‘sisters’. Others were supposedly kept from eating; perhaps prepping for a session of that age-old sorority bonding practice, Circle the Fat. Now that it's public and we know young women are taking part in these dreadful shenanigans, here are some ladies we would not want to be hazed by.

To quote LL Cool J, “don’t call it a comeback!” Joan Jett and the Black Hearts never officially called it quits, but the mood at Harry O’s in Park City Saturday night was sufficiently electric to suggest a long overdue reunion. The group was there to celebrate the Sundance premiere of The Runaways, chronicling the rise and fall of the eponymous 70’s girl group. Having rocketed to fame on the strength of hits like Cherry Bomb, the teenaged band ultimately imploded due to infighting between guitarist Jett and lead singer Cherie Curie. In the film they’re played by Kristen Stewart and Dakota Fanning respectively, and both were on hand for Saturday’s performance. After Jett ran through a tight set of familiar favorites—Naked, Crimson and Clover—she pulled the two actresses, along with Curie, onto the stage for a few moments and very nearly brought the house down in the process. Trailer and footage galore after the jump!

Glossed over this morning: Kristen Stewart's meaty role as a stripper in Welcome to The Rileys and what it could mean for the actress' career in the long haul. Rileys is one of two flicks Stewart has at the Sundance Film Festival. It premiered yesterday and in tandem with The Runaways, the flick may do the unlikely for Stewart: Put her on the fast-track to Hollywood's hottest leading lady. Mostly because both stand to give her significant indie clout. But, Kristen Stewart as the next Queen of Indies? It may be a difficult coup, especially with Parker Posey, Maggie Gyllenhaal, and Chloë Sevigny holding fast to the title. Then again we are in a world where Sandra Bullock remains thisclose to Oscar gold.

• Should Brad Pitt go all Tiger Woods on Angelina Jolie and a split becomes imminent, Jolie gets full custody of the kids. Their joint $330 million fortune will be split 50/50. [DListed]
• Kristen Stewart on her new stripper movie: "It's about understanding who you're playing and you have a responsibility because you feel like you can't let them down." [MTV]
• All because of Susan Boyle: The Scottish delicacy haggis could make a poignant comeback in the U.S. for the first time in 20 years. [The Press Association]

Lists are everywhere right now. Here a list! There a list! Everywhere, a list! Today though, a specific part of one list in particular: Moviefone.com's user-generated Top 5 picks of the year's worst actresses. Topping the list: Megan Fox. Runners-up: Beyoncé, Hilary Swank, Sandra Bullock (for the other big movie she did this year that doesn't have Oscar buzz around it), Kate Hudson, and Malin Akerman. A quartet of actresses more shit-tacular this year than Fox, after the jump.

● John Mayer brought some Christmas d-bag cheer to the Ellen DeGeneres show, wearing an ironic Christmas sweater and doing an impression of his six-year-old self at Xmas. [JustJared]
● Tara Reid is showing us her dilapidated fun bags in Playboy so we’ll finally stop making fun of them. No such luck. [ET]
● Is Robert Pattinson stepping out on KStew, with co-star Emilie de Ravin? Say it isn’t so! It isn’t so. The duo were seen feigning a romantic date at LACMA for an upcoming shoot for Vogue. [E!]

● Rihanna has some new ink. It reads "never a failure, always a lesson" backwards, but that’s no mistake. RiRi’s current motto is backwards so she can read it herself in the mirror. [Ok]
● Speaking of RiRi, she’s been giving some thought about acting; she’d be up to play an assassin or a lesbian or a lesbian assassin, but only if Megan Fox played her girlfriend. [AngryApe]
● Robert Pattinson may be the tabloids' tween dreamboat, but he’s a bad omen for his costars' love lives. First Kristen Stewart, then Emilie de Ravin; now upcoming leading lady Uma Thurman has split from her boyfriend. [Celebuzz]

● Sienna Miller and Jude Law are making a third go-round for a relationship; Miller was seen fleeing Law’s New York pad, so you know it’s totally on. [DailyMail]
● Speaking of couples giving it another go, Marilyn Manson is back with his favorite Dita Von Teese impersonator, Evan Rachel Wood. [MetalHammer]
● Kristen Stewart does not hate Twilight fans; in fact, “I thought they were going to hate me, but they love it. I love girls who are in love with me." [EntertainmentWise]